You'll Never Know
by unflavoredblueberries
Summary: Clary Fairchild and Jace Herondale have been joined at the hip since kindergarten. Starting their freshman year at college together opens the door for new romances, betrayals, and second chances. With Jace getting more involved in his new band, Clary faces the possibility of losing him to someone she never thought she would: and getting her heart broken in the process.
1. One

"Clarissa Adele, what did I just tell you?" My mother's tone and choice of my full name had me frozen, my fingers reaching for the buttercream icing in the bowl. Snatching it back, I turned around sheepishly to find my mom glaring at me, and my best friend Jace Herondale laughing at me behind her back.

"Sorry mom, you know it's my favorite." I shrugged, and she rolled her eyes, but smiled at me.

"Go help Jace, I think he has more flour in his hair than on the rolling pin." She motioned towards him, and went to carefully guard icing. I hopped on a stool next to him at the counter, flicking his blonde curls and sending a cloud of flour into his and mine's faces.

"Clary! You're messing up my concentration." He said, swatting my hands away as he leaned forward to make sure he was rolling the dough into the right thickness. It was the day after Thanksgiving, but we were already starting to make Christmas cookies, a tradition that Jace and I had started when we first became friends in kindergarten.

I responded by swiping flour across his cheek. His retaliation was to lick his finger and stick it in my ear.

"Jace! That's so gross!" I squealed, rubbing at my ear I looked around to see my mom had removed any possible weapon I could use against him, like more flour, and resorted to grabbing his arm and digging my nails into his upper bicep. Okay, so sometimes we still fight like we're in kindergarten, but after a feel of his incredibly muscled biceps, we most certainly were 18 year olds.

"I ask myself this every year why I let you two do this." My mom groaned, taking a fresh batch of sugar cookies out of the oven. "Take these off to cool, and don't you dare throw them at each other."

"Clary started it." Jace announced, apparently satisfied with his dough rolling and moving on to using the cookie cutter to make cut outs of Christmas themed characters. My nail digging had little effect on him, he was so much stronger than me that he barley noticed.

"I don't know why I've put up with you all these years." I said, carefully moving the cookies to the cooling rack.

"Right back atcha." He looked up and grinned, his signature smile on full display. "But you're stuck with me."

Jace and I started being friends the day he pulled my red curly pigtail braids and called them carrots. Naturally, I pushed him to the ground and kicked him in the ribs. It was worth the timeout and getting recess taken away for a week, since we both had to sit in the classroom with the teachers aide and watch our friends play without us. We bonded over this, as little kids do, and have been inseparable ever since.

In a way, our friendship hasn't changed a bit over the years. We survived high school, and are in the middle of our freshman year of college at Leigh University, which we both commute to. I was studying Art History with a minor in business, he was studying Music Management. Jace is big into music, and was currently trying to find a band to join as a lead singer or guitarist since his high school band broke up when we all left for college.

Our families have become close, and I wouldn't have it any other way. As much as he gets on my nerves, he's still my best friend. People have always claimed we would end up dating, and as much as I've denied it, the idea is still in the back of my head. But I would never let him know that, it would ruin everything.

"Clary, hello?" I was distracted by Jace waving his hand in front of my face, startling me out of my inner monologue. "I know I'm attractive, but if you keep staring at me like that your mom is never going to let me sleep over again." He winked, and I groaned, shoving his arm away and surveying the mess we made in the kitchen. We were now about to ice the cookies, an event that usually ended up with both of us covered in frosting.

"Wouldn't be a problem since we always sleep head to toe." I smiled sweetly at my mother, who was eyeing us suspiciously. She was one of the biggest advocates for the idea that we were secretly in love with each other, and was dying for one of us to admit it.

"I can't sleep head to toe anymore with you, your feet smell so bad I'm scared my hair will smell like them forever." Jace replied, earning him a smear of frosting across his already flour adorned cheek courtesy of me.

When we were younger and Jace slept over because his dad was away on business trips, he always ended up sleeping in my bed. My mom thought it was adorable, but implemented the head to toe rule once we got a little older. Jace was not a fan, and always ended up back with his head by mine, making up some excuse about my feet. To his credit, he always maintained a careful distance from me, which helped my mom feel a little better about having her only daughter sleeping in the same bed with her guy best friend.

We finished frosting our cookies with few incidents, settling into a comfortable silence as my mom cleaned up. Looking around my kitchen as I though of a design for my next snowflake, my eyes landed on the family pictures hung on the wall near the kitchen table.

My parents divorced when I was barely 2 years old. My dad, Valentine, lived with my older brother a few towns over. I stayed with my mom, Jocelyn, but my brother was always closer to my dad, even at a young age. I saw them on holidays, not as often now that Jonathan was close to graduating college since he was two years older than me. The family pictures on the wall had Jonathan and mine's senior pictures, one of me and Jace, and one of my mom and I and Luke, her fiance. None of us as a family together. It made me sad, as my mom never really got over our losing my brother to my father. Whenever I was brave enough to ask her what happened, she claimed her and my dad "fell out of love"; something I was terrified of happening to me.

As a result of our wildly different upbringings, my brother and I were not exactly close. My dad was strict, known for being tough and big responsibility. Jonathan grew up to what I nicely called a stuck up jerk. I inherited my love for art from my mom, and I thrived in her more relaxed parenting style. He claimed I was a wild child destined to graduate with a degree that meant nothing, and I would end up flipping burgers. Any time that we were forced to see each other resulted in huge arguments which drove our parents insane.

Jace noticed me staring at the pictures, and nudged my leg with his to get my attention. "I bet I can make a better snowflake than you." He challenged, wielding his cookie. I smiled, he knew me so well and chose the perfect thing to cheer me up.

"You're on."

Going back to school after Thanksgiving break is such a tease. Grumbling to myself as I got in my car Monday morning, I was shivering from the cold. The drive to campus seemed extra long and traffic-y, so I was in a mood by the time I arrived to my 10 am business class. Jace was there, saving me a seat as I rushed in and came prepared for my Monday morning blues with a steaming cup of hot chocolate. Due to our different majors, this was one of the only classes we had together.

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" I sighed, as the hot chocolate seemed to go straight my bloodstream.

"Nope, I don't believe you have." Jace grinned, running a hand through his blonde curls. I think I heard the girl behind us sigh. Peeking behind me, I noticed her staring dreamily at Jace, practically drooling. Rolling my eyes, I straightened up in my seat while the professor came in and started setting up for the lecture.

Sure, Jace was downright hot. He was 6 feet 2 inches of tan skin, muscles, golden eyes, and blonde curls that were always falling into his eyes. Worse, he knew it. Even worse, other girls really knew it. He wasn't exactly a relationship kind of guy, but enjoyed the attention from women. I constantly teased him about it, but lately it was becoming less funny for me and more depressing. I was not as fortunate in the looks department, or with guys. While my hair had thankfully darkened a bit from the "carrot sticks" red of kindergarten, my curls are just as out of control and in no hurry to be tamed. I am a measly 5 foot 3, and my eyes are a plain green.

"Do you want to meet up and get lunch with Izzy and Alec?" I asked, as we were leaving the lecture hall an hour and a half later. My question was met with silence. Confused, I whirled around to see Jace stopped at the door to the lecture hall talking to the blonde girl that had sat behind us in class. I watched as she giggled and tossed her hair, typing something into his phone.

Forcing myself not to turn on my heel and leave him, I counted the seconds as he came walking back over to me, looking slightly flustered.

"What was that about?" I asked, my heart squeezing as I waited for his answer.

"Uh, her name is Kaelie and she wanted to gab coffee and study sometime." He said, pocketing his phone without giving it a second glance.

Not having a nice response to that, I settled for a neutral nod and continued walking. As we walked outside, a gust of cold wind had me shivering as it sent my curls flying around my face. Jace laughed, throwing his arm around me and holding me to his side as we walked in an attempt to keep me warm.

"I'm going to die alone." Isabelle announced, as she flopped down next to me at the table we were at in the student union. "All alone, with no one but my cat. Actually, even Church will probably find someone." She sighed dramatically, her big brown eyes looking up at me pleadingly.

"Izzy, what happened?" I asked, knowing I was getting myself into a long winded story about her most recent relationship ending. Izzy was a fan of the dating scene in college, and had no problem getting guys. She was gorgeous, her body made you feel self conscious the second she walked into the room. She had raven hair town to her waist, tan olive skin, and deep brown eyes.

"So I was seeing this amazing guy, Meliorn from my weather class. But he keeps wanting more from me, and saying that I wasn't taking our "relationship" seriously." She rolled her eyes, emphasizing the quotations around 'relationship.' I struggled to keep the smile off my face, but she narrowed her eyes at me, seeing right through me. "Don't you laugh at me. It's not my fault every guy I meet has a problem with me not wanting to take things seriously. I'm only 18!"

"Yeah, you are. So stop dating guys." Her brother, Alec appeared next to us. He sat down, brushing his hair out of his eyes, the same color as his sister. However, instead of her brown eyes, he had mesmerizing blue eyes that would make any girl swoon. While Isabelle was extroverted, loud, and talkative, Alec was the complete opposite. He was usually quiet, content to listen to us and of course, talk to his boyfriend of one year, Magnus Bane.

"Where's Magnus?" I asked, looking around for Alec's glittery boyfriend. And I mean that literally. Magnus was a fashion design student whose favorite medium was glitter, and usually left a trail of it in his wake.

"Busy planning our one year anniversary party combined with some holiday Christmas party or something. I'm dreading it." Alec said glumly, wringing his hands together. "Oh by the way, I'm supposed to invite you guys."

Isabelle looked at her brother as if she couldn't quite understand him. "That has to be the worst invitation ever. I can't believe you don't want a party! It's a perfect excuse to drink and get dressed up." Alec shrugged, sipping his drink. Izzy wisely changed the subject, as I knew she was getting to strangle her brother. "Anyway, I was in the middle of talking about Meliorn." She said his name scathingly.

"What did Melon do this time?" Jace asked, sitting down next to me. I giggled at his intentional name change, as Jace was slightly protective of his cousin and did not approve of nearly every guy she brought around.

"Meliorn," Isabelled emphasized, glaring at Jace. "And I are broken up. At least until next semester. Or maybe New Years, it would be fun to kiss him at midnight."

"You could kiss Simon." I suggested, smirking as she ignored that jab. Simon was another member of our group, but he went to college upstate for accounting. He also had the biggest crush on Isabelle, but she was the only one who didn't know this. I was making it my personal mission to get them together this break, but Izzy was being very difficult.

"When are everyone's finals done?" I asked, stealing some of Jace's fries. He pushed them closer to me, instead of guarding them as he usually did. I must have scared him with my bad mood this morning.

"Next week, thank god." Izzy said, running a hand through her long hair. "I've never been so happy for something to be over. College is crazy."

"It just gets worse." Alec spoke up between bites of his burger. He was a year older than us, and rarely let us forget it. This also happened to be a pet peeve of Izzy's, and I watched her eyes flash with annoyance.

"Anyway." I changed the subject, feeling as if this was leading to another sibling argument. "When is the party?"


	2. Two

"Izzy, I cannot wear this." I said, shocked at my reflection in her full length mirror. "Please tell me this is a joke. I'm 99% sure I've seen you wear this as a shirt."

She laughed, touching up her eyeliner at her vanity. Turning to look at me, she grinned, as only Izzy does when she sees me in her revealing clothes. "You look hot. That's the point."

"No, the point is celebrating the one-year anniversary of Magnus and Alec." I argued, and she rolled her eyes.

"Do you honestly think this is their celebration? Magnus just wants an excuse to throw a party. Obviously, him and Alec are doing some other celebrating since he's actually going to it. He normally is much grouchier about putting on a shirt with no holes in it."

I giggled, turning around in the mirror to inspect the newly formed curves this dress was going me. It was tight and black, as well as insanely short. My hair was tamed for once, pulled back with a clip that actually didn't make me look like a suburban soccer mom. In the heels, it looked like my legs were even kind of long. (A girl can dream).

"Now get over here before the guys come crashing in here rushing us. Liquid eyeliner can smell fear, so we need to take this slow." She wielded her eyeliner pen, and I gulped.

"Alright, done." She exclaimed a few minutes later, making me jump as I opened my eyes. Turning towards the mirror, I half expected to look like a raccoon with the amount of makeup she was caking on my eyes. However, I was surprised to see that it actually looked good. Whatever she had done accentuated my cheekbones, made my eyes look bright green, and my lips fuller.

"You're going to have quite the night. Especially if Sebastian Verlac is there." Izzy nearly purred, sliding on her heels as we walked towards the door to go downstairs.

"Why do I care about Sebastian Verlac?" I asked, as we walked down towards the guys waiting in the foyer. I was vaguely aware of them staring at us, but was mainly focused on not falling down the stairs in these heels.

"Because, he's been into since he met you at that party in the beginning of the semester. You just won't give him the time of day." She insisted, her brown eyes narrowing accusingly. Izzy considered this to be the highest crime; denying a hot guy's attention.

"You're insane." I laughed, relieved that we'd gotten to the bottom of the stairs without incident. I looked up at Jace, but whatever Izzy was saying back was lost on me as we made eye contact.

Well, I was looking at his eyes roam up and down my body, slowly taking it all in. His golden eyes met mine after a what felt like a long time looking at my legs, and he grinned. He was dressed in black jeans, a white t shirt that hugged his body and hinted at the sculpted musculature underneath, with a black leather jacket. His blonde curls were messed perfectly, and I tried ignoring the butterflies swirling around my stomach as he stepped forward to hug me.

"You look beautiful." He said, his lips being so close to my ear causing me to nearly hyperventilate. I had to pull myself together, this was Jace. I couldn't lose control now.

"Thanks handsome." I quipped, stepping back so I wasn't distracted by how amazing he smelled. I looked around, grinning when I saw Simon standing behind Jace, looking as if I had just made out with the him.

"Clary, what the-?" He couldn't finish his sentence. He ran forward with his jacket. "Put this on, oh god. Izzy got to you."

"Simon." I protested, laughing I pushed his jacket away. "I'm fine, your jacket will ruin the outfit."

"Yeah, I can't let you put that jacket on her, man." Jace said, and my cheeks burned.

"Enough, okay? Let's just go." I was eager to get to the party, where I was certain my outfit choice would blend in more. Or I was just going to have to stand next to Izzy tonight, but it looked like Simon had already claimed that place. I smiled to myself as I saw him offer her his arm to walk to the car.

"You're still not hung up on them, are you?" Jace appeared at my side as we walked down the driveway towards Simon's car in the street.

"What? I can't help it. They're so adorable." I pouted, resisting the urge to turn around again and stare at them. "They're such good friends, they look so good together, and Simon is a sweetheart. Izzy deserves a nice guy like him."

"She'll rip out his heart and stomp on the pieces with her stilettos." Jace answered, opening the car door for me. "That's what happens when friends date."

I stared at him, unable to come up with a response for that. Cleary, he has some issues about friends dating. I decided it was best not to continue that conversation, and opted for scooting over to the window on the other side of the car as Izzy and Simon got in.

"Simon, you know you don't have to DD for us. We can always call a cab." Izzy said, as Simon pulled out of the driveway of the Lightwood's house. Alec was already at Magnus', and was staying over.

"Ah, trust me it's okay. I don't really drink anyway." He laughed, and I suppressed the urge to blow up his spot. The real reason Simon wasn't drinking was because he was afraid he would say something to Izzy that hinted of his true feelings. As much as I had tried arguing with him about it, he was adamant that she could never know.

"Look at her, Clary. And look at me." He had frantically whispered to me as we stole a moment in the Lightwoods kitchen before Izzy gave me a makeover earlier. "She's Isabelle Lightwood. She's beautiful, and can have any guy she wants. Why would I have the audacity to think she would want me, and also go out of my way to confirm that? It's better for everyone this way, not just me." He had refused to talk about it again, which I begrudgingly accepted.

I was quiet on the way to Magnus', Jace's words echoing in my head. What did he have against friends dating? I understood why he wouldn't want us dating, for obvious reasons. Any time anyone had brought up us being together, he vehemently denied it ever happening, while I had simply laughed it off. It used to make me sad, in a way, that he knew for sure he could never see me like that. I found myself emphasizing with Simon, even though I didn't have feelings for Jace.

I looked over at him, laughing at something Izzy had sad that I missed, and an unfamiliar ache spread through me. It was like I missed him, even though he was right next to me.

"I hope you brought your party moods, everyone." Magnus greeted us at the door, already slightly tipsy on champagne. Glitter sprinkled on my face as he bet down to hug me.

"Don't we always?" Izzy grinned, before grabbing my hand and making a beeline for the bar in the corner of Magnus' "entertaining room". His house was insane; the whole first floor was dedicated to throwing parties. He had a bar, an area for dancing, a more formal sit down area, another area with tables and chairs, and a kitchen specifically for the caterers. He was mysterious about how he could afford this, but after so long we all accepted his various excuses of a rich relative that left him money in their will.

Izzy gleefully placed two shots in front of us. I stared at them, mentally calculating how good my chances of convincing her I didn't want to drink were. From the look on her face, slim to none.

Three shots in, my melancholy mood had changed, thoughts of Jace and his strange comments vanished as Izzy andI laughed and carried on, hugging people we knew and chatting up people we didn't. I spotted a few people from Leigh around, probably from Alec of Izzy's classes. Or because they heard about the party, Magnus didn't exactly discourage a huge turnout.

"Don't look now, but Sebastian Verlac is staring at you." Izzy whispered in my ear. I widened my eyes at her, suddenly wishing I hadn't drunk so much.

"Izzy! Why is he here?" I hissed, trying get a peek but her iron grip on my arm kept me in place.

"I said don't look! And I invited him of course. Or maybe he just happened to hear that you were going to be here and took it upon himself to crash the party." She winked, and I groaned, accepting another shot from the bartender.

Izzy glanced behind me again. "Hey, wait right here for me okay? I see Meliorn, and I haven't decided if I hate him yet. I'll be right back."

"Iz-" I was cut off as she disappeared, and I sighed. I turned around, planning on finding Jace, when Sebastian approached me, his dark eyes looking me up and down. He was attractive, but in a different way than Jace. He he was around the same height, albeit slightly skinner. While Jace reminded me of the sun, golden and warm, Sebastian reminded me of the moon; his eyes were dark as night, with his pale skin and jet black hair.

"Clarissa." He said, my name dancing across his tongue. Oh god, I needed a shot. Or to stop drinking. I downed the one in my hand, wincing as the alcohol burned my throat.

"Sebastian." I answered, going along with the name as a greeting. Were we just going to repeat our names all night? I was not good at flirting.

"You look ravishing." He said, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. For some reason, I was unable to not think of Jace, and how his reaction to seeing me made my heart beat faster and my stomach erupt in butterflies. Sebastian's response made me instinctively recoil, and I tried covering it up with a weak smile.

"Thanks." I wondered if it would be too obvious if I looked around the room for Jace. Shit, I needed to stop thinking about Jace, Sebastian was saying something.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, blushing as I realized he probably thought I was an idiot. "It's so uh, loud in here, couldn't hear you." I smiled again, hoping he would ignore my lie.

"I was asking you if you wanted another drink." He grinned, and I nodded automatically. Alcohol would definitely make this encounter better.

He signaled to the bartender, giving me an opportunity to look around for any of my friends. I spotted Simon, across the room, but his back was to Me. Izzy was off with Meliorn, Magnus and Alec were probably off hosting, and God knew where Jace was.

"Here you go. I think you'll like a good margarita." Sebastian's attention was back, and I smiled politely, taking the cold drink and sipping it.

"Let's go a little more private, since it's so loud in here." Sebastian started leading me away from the bar, and I internally groaned at my idiocy. We sat down in a corner, his legs touching my bare ones as we sat on a loveseat against a window. For lack of anything else to do, I sipped my drink, enjoying the taste of the salty lime.

Sebastian leaned in close to me, and I had to stop myself from leaning away. I had no idea what was wrong with me, it was as if my body was rejecting him without consent from my brain.

"You're pretty quiet." He said, his dark eyes searching mine. I had never seen someone with such dark brown eyes.

"I'ms sorry, I don't know why I'm acting like this." I said, surprising myself with the honesty. He waved my excuse away, grinning.

"Don't worry, I've been told I have an effect on women."

"And what's that? Making them feel uncomfortable?" A voice said, from above. I looked up to see Jace standing there, with a carefully controlled expression on his face. I knew this was an indication he was furious. I looked down to see Sebastian put a possessive hand on my leg, narrowing his eyes at Jace.

"Back off, Herondale. Clarissa and I are talking." Sebastian snapped. Jace nearly started growling. Not wanting to be the cause of a fist fight, I stood up abruptly.

"You know, I think I'm going to get some food, too much to drink. I'll uh, see you later Sebastian, it was nice to meet you."

"Put another hand on her again, and I'll take your arm off." Jace's voice was deadly, his eyes molten gold as he put his hand on the small of my back and guided me away. I turned to peek over Jace's shoulder, seeing Sebastian sipping his drink, his expression stormy.

"What was that about?" I demanded, as we moved through the crowd of people until we found the food the caterers had set up. "I'm not some damsel in distress, I didn't need you rescuing me from him."

Jace looked as if he would rather not answer, but gave in to my unwavering stare. "I don't know, there's just something off about that Verlac guy. I've never liked him, and after seeing him all over you... I just lost it. I'm sorry if you were actually interested in talking to him. I didn't mean to imply you were somehow mine, but he just hit a nerve." He looked embarrassed about his little outburst.

"Mhmm." I said, filing this information away for later. "It's alright. How do you know him?" I avoided the question about me being into him. I wasn't, but it was fun to make Jace squirm a little bit.

"Our families don't really get along. My dad and his dad grew up as rivals of some sort, and it's never gone away. We don't really talk to them anymore, but when we were younger it was always a competition between our dads and us. Also, he's just an asshole. He thinks he's better at playing the guitar than me." In Jace's book, this was extremely offensive.

"I never knew this." I looked over the array of food, not particularly interested in eating anything. "How's it going with finding a new band, by the way? I haven't seen you preparing for an audition lately after that one last week."

"Well now you know." There was an edge to Jace's voice that made me look up at him. "As for the band thing, not sure yet. It's complicated." Musical talent was something Jace and I did not share, so I wasn't surprised at his reluctance to discuss his audition. It's not like I could offer him advice on how to do better or anything. What made me suspicious, though, was his next words.

"Fuck it. Let's get drunk."

In all my years of knowing Jace, the one thing I did know was that he rarely drank. He was always playing some sort of sport, and claimed he didn't have time to party. Or he was too focused on his band; there was always an excuse. Sometimes I was able to drag him out to an odd high school party or even some at college, but I think I've seen him drunk all of one time.

"Are you serious?" I asked, elated. He grinned, leading me towards the bar. The party was still in full swing, but I didn't see the rest of our friends around. "What brought this on?"

"I just feel like it. I don't have to drive, it's a weekend. I'm going to have to crash at your place though, since my dad would kill me if I came home drunk. It's that alright?" He asked as he ordered us shots.

"Of course it's okay." I laughed before adding, "As long as we sleep head to toe."

"Clary, I heard you have some sort of horrible foot fungus and I don't want to risk me putting my beautiful face near your smelly feet." He grinned, and I rolled my eyes.

I lost count of how many shots I had taken after my 5th. Right now, all I could think about was how badly I had to go to the bathroom. Leaning against the wall outside as I waited for someone to come out, I shut my eyes to stop the room from spinning so much.

"Clary! I've been looking everywhere for you." Jace appeared, swaying slightly as he reached out to steady himself against the wall I was leaning on. This move made him directly in front of me, his golden eyes staring into my soul.

"Well, you found me." I had to force myself not to lean in closer to him. This was Jace, my best friend.

"Yes, I am Jace, your best friend." He repeated, grinning at me. "I didn't think I was that forgettable, and that's not what you were saying earlier." I frowned as I realized I had spoken out loud. And what did he mean, not what I was saying earlier?

"Shhh." I wanted to tell him to shut up, but a half-hearted shushing was all I could muster. I really needed to sober up, or I was going to have problems. Jace was not helping me think being so close to me, and looking so..good.

"Hey, lovebirds." Izzy appeared out of the bathroom, and I nearly danced for joy. I _really_ had to pee. She was still speaking, but I slipped in the bathroom in the middle of her sentence before Jace could steal my chance. Once inside, I vaguely heard her banging on the door but was too focused on my purpose for coming in here.

As I washed my hands, I did a quick mirror check to make sure I had remembered to pull my dress back down to a proper length. Well, as proper as mid-thigh could be. My hair was a little wild looking, but nothing considering how drunk I was, I thought I looked pretty good.

"Since you are drunk, I'm not going to yell at you for being rude. But I will yell at you for leaving me with your lovesick puppy. He wouldn't shut up about you being gone the whole time." Izzy grumbled, gesturing to Jace, leaning against the wall with his eyes shut.

"Sorry Izz." I mumbled, looking up at her. "What were you saying before?"

"We're leaving soon. Simon's around here somewhere, but it's nearly 2 am."

2 in the morning?! I had a moment of panic. I definitely had no idea what I had been doing for the past 3 hours. An unaccounted for drunken 3 hours. Presumably with Jace. I looked over at him, and he was still leaning against the wall, but his eyes were fixated on me. Something about the way he was looking at me was different, similar to how he looked when he first saw me in this outfit earlier tonight.

Izzy left my side, saying something about Simon. I walked over to Jace, tilting my head to look at him questionably. "Do you know what we've been doing for the past 3 hours?" I prayed he would say something like playing drinking games with Simon or hiding from Sebastian.

I was not expecting him to reach out and grab me around the waist, holding me tight against his body. He leaned forward, my heels making it easier for him to whisper in my ear. "I'm slightly offended you don't remember." I involuntarily shivered, feeling him laugh as he noticed my reaction.

The next thing I knew, someone was grabbing my wrist, tugging me away from Jace. I turned to see Izzy grinning at me, her expression clear she thought something was going on with Jace and I. I rolled my eyes, following her and Simon out the door with Jace at my heels.

The ride home consisted of Jace and I laughing hysterically in the back seat for no reason, Simon blasting horrible 80s rock music to drown us out, and Izzy carrying on about how she was going to kill us. Apparently things with Meliorn haven't improved.

Stumbling out of the car with Jace, I waved goodbye to Izzy and Simon as they waited for us to get in my house. I had warned my mom we would be back late, so I was thankful she had left the back door open for me. Using my house keys was definitely beyond my capabilities at the moment, I was doing all I could to keep Jace upright and get through my house without making any noise.

We got to my room, and Jace kicked off his shoes, his jacket sliding off his shoulders to the ground. I went for my bathroom, grabbing the first clothing items on my dresser to use as pajamas. The last thing I saw before I shut the bathroom door behind me was Jace's slowly taking his shirt off, giving me a show of his ab muscles.

Once I had gotten most of my makeup off and brushed my teeth, I grabbed some water bottles from the kitchen and a bottle of Advil. We were definitely going to need it in the morning, I decided, as I appraised Jace's sleeping body in the middle of my bed.

Crawling in next to him, I fell asleep and the last thing I remembered was him reaching out and holding me close to him.


	3. Three

The next morning, I was awoken by the irritating glare of sunlight coming from my window. I groaned, rolling over and pulling the covers over my face. I heard Jace laugh, but I wasn't about to wake up at some ungodly hour of the morning just to appease him.

"Jace, it's too early." My voice was muffled under the blankets, but I felt the bed creak as he sat down next to me.

"Clary, it's 2 in the afternoon. You've been sleeping all day."

"What?!" I shot up, my head spinning from the sudden movement. Jace held out a water bottle and advil, and I gratefully took it. "When did you wake up?"

"I don't know, like 2 hours ago." He stood up, and I took in his half naked body covered by a towel slung low around his hips.

"Wait why are you naked?" I averted my eyes so he couldn't catch me staring at his perfectly sculpted body. I heard him laugh, as he picked up his clothes from the ground.

"We slept naked, you seemed to enjoy it." Jace winked, and my sharp inhale of breath as I looked down to see what I was wearing had him laughing so hard he nearly fell over. I was relieved to see I was fully clothed.

"Jace! You're such an asshole." I threw my pillow at him, but that just made him laugh harder.

"Your face was priceless!" He kept laughing as I got up, grumbling to myself about how much of an idiot he was. I tripped over his shoes on my way to the bathroom, causing me to stumble into him, his bare skin warm to my touch.

Suddenly, a flashback of the night before hit me, causing me to freeze, barely noticing Jace steadying me from falling over. I vaguely recalled that we had been in this position before, his arms holding me from falling over. How much did I drink last night?

"Jace..." I looked up at him, praying what I remembered didn't mean... "Did we hook up or something last night? I don't remember anything for a good 3 hour period."

"You don't remember anything at all?" He asked, uneasily as he let go of me and sat down on my bed. I backed away, fearful of what he was getting at. If Jace and I hooked up, I would really liked to have remembered.

"No. I remember seeing you in the hallway before we left, and..." I blushed, not wanting to think about how I fell asleep in his arms last night. "Not much else."

Jace was looking extremely uncomfortable, which only increased my fear. "Listen, we don't have to talk about it. I'm really sorry if I like, threw myself at you or something. Just forget it." I made a run for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door as soon as he reached it.

"Clary." He knocked on the door, sounding upset. "It's not what you think-we-you didn't throw yourself at me or anything like that. ."

"Can we just not talk about this? Obviously something happened or you wouldn't be so upset I don't remember." I had to keep my voice from shaking. Embarrassment was flooding through me, something I rarely felt around Jace. Rejection washed through me, painfully strong.

"No, Clary we need to talk about last night." He jiggled the doorknob, and I heard him shuffling through something on my dresser. I belatedly remembered his uncanny ability to pick locks, and realized I had just cornered myself in here.

"Don't you dare pick the lock Jace." I demanded, holding the doorknob as I felt him messing around with it, most likely with a bobby pin from my dresser. "I'm naked!" I yelled, hoping to scare him out of opening the door.

"No you're not." He flung the door open, and I resisted the urge to cover myself. With my silky pajamas shorts and tank top, I felt naked.

"What if I was?"

"Then this conversation would be slightly awkward. But I'm naked, so if you insist that someone has to be for this conversation, I'll take one for the team." He gestured towards the towel around his waist, which made me look at his abs, and the v of his hipbones. Not helpful.

"Okay, so talk." I crossed my arms, trying to look threatening. It probably wasn't working, but I couldn't figure out why he looked so _scared._

"Last night, we had a huge fight. I told you something that I hoped you would take better when you were drunk, but it had the opposite effect." He sighed, looking around the bathroom, refusing to make eye contact with me. "Clary, I did something that's going to make you hate me."

"Jace, what happened?" I was finding it difficult to breathe. Jace and I rarely fought, but when we did, it was ugly. We both were extremely stubborn, and knew each other so well we knew exactly what to lash out and say to achieve maximum pain. I was extremely surprised that I didn't remember.

"I joined a band. They posted an ad about it, and I didn't think it went very well since all the band members weren't at my audition. When they called me back offering to let me start as guitar and work on being lead singer, I accepted right away. And then I met the other bandmates..." He trailed off, and I was going to strangle him if he didn't get to the point.

"I'm still not sure why I should be so upset about this." I said warily, more confused than ever.

"Clary, the other guy in the band is your brother. I'm in your brother's band."

I froze. Of all the things I thought he would say, this was definitely the last thing I expected. I didn't even know my brother was in a band, much less played an instrument. My heart beat faster as Jace started explaining about how how didn't want to hurt me, he had been dreading this moment, but all of that was lost on me as I realized what he had done.

"I can't believe you would do this to me." I nearly whispered, my voice shaking. I look up at him, and his golden eyes were filled with pain. "You of all people know what a monster he is."

"Clary, he's your brother. Maybe-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." I snapped, cutting him off. The anger was burning inside me, I had never before been so angry at Jace in my life. He was choosing my brother over me. My brother, who spent years tormenting me, and bringing out the worst in me. "You were supposed to be my best friend. You've witnessed how he treats me. He makes me hate myself. He brings out the worst in me, and he enjoys it. He tells me the reason my family is torn apart is because I was born." I could feel myself shaking, my mind process the situation fast enough.

Jace was at a loss for words. I shook my head, wanting him gone before the tears started. The hurt was settling in, and I knew that Jace would not leave my side if I started crying. I didn't want him to see me like this. I couldn't stand to look at his perfect face with his concerned expression.

"Clary, please. Just talk to me, I want to fix this."

It then occurred to me why he was stilling trying to talk about it. "You just have to twist the knife deeper in my back, don't you? Let me guess, you're not even quitting the stupid band. You're going to stay in it, with my brother. Real nice, Jace." I said scathingly, pushing past him out of the bathroom. "Just leave. I don't want to be near you right now."

The next few days were not much better. I had developed a careful route around campus that allowed me to avoid Jace, and the business class we took together twice a week was the only time I had to see him. I came in at the last minute, and left as soon as the professor dismissed us. Sitting next to him during that class was the hardest, he looked miserable the entire time and never failed to try and get me to talk to him.

My mom constantly kept asking me what was up with Jace and I, but I couldn't bear to tell her the real reason. I just kept claiming he was dating someone and couldn't be around as much. This of course, made her misinterpret my mood as being jealous of this girlfriend I had made up, fueling her belief we had feelings for each other.

"Mom, I told you. Jace is busy tonight. And I'm not jealous." I snapped, before she could question me again as she came to my room one night, a week after our fight.

"Honey, drop the act. I know what's going on with you two." She sighed, moving to sit on my bed next to me. I looked up from my book, eyeing her warily.

"You do?"

"Your father called. He was surprised to see a familiar face when he showed up at Jonathan's band practice." Shit. My father had met Jace enough times to know he was my best friend, and would find it strange that Jace was in Jonathan's band considering my relationship (or lack of one) with my brother.

"Mom..." I didn't know what to say. I hadn't talked about this with anyone, not even Izzy for fear of someone telling me I was being too dramatic about the whole situation. Sure, maybe I was being hard on Jace, but I couldn't get over the face that he deliberately did something he knew would hurt me.

"I'm not going to tell you how to feel or not. I know you hate it when I assume things about you two, so I'm not going to say anything like that. I just hate seeing you so sad. He's your other half, even when you're mad at him."

"I know but mom, I can't look at him without thinking about what he did. He knows me so well, he had to have known that this would be the one thing to really hurt me. And what does he do? Try and cover it up by getting me drunk and then still staying with the band. There's other bands." I threw my book down on my bed, getting irritated just thinking about it.

"I know sweetheart. I'm not saying what he did was right. I know you and your brother have your problems, and I have never tried to force you to try and fix things with him. That's why I'm just asking you to talk to Jace, to try and find it within yourself to forgive him."

 **A/N: Thank you for all the follows and reviews! I'm going to be updating as often as I can, I love hearing what you guys think!**


	4. Four

My silence to Jace was going on 10 days, as I had taken the weekend to think things through about what my mom had told me. It was true, I was miserable without him. As I walked into our business class, my intentions were to talk to him and try and fix things between us. I took a deep breath, sitting down next to him. He barely glanced up, clearly tired of trying to talk to me.

"Jace." I hadn't uttered a word to him in 10 days, and it felt strange.

"Yes, Clarissa?" He barely looked up from his phone. I cringed, he only called me by my full name when he was mad at me.

"Can we stop doing this, please? I don't want to fight anymore." I watched as he ran a hand through his blonde curls, looking at me with a hurt expression.

"You didn't talk to me for 10 days. What changed?" I flinched at his harsh tone, but refused to let him stop me from trying to fix things.

"I'm apologizing for the way I've been treating you. I was upset about what you did, and I didn't know what to do." I risked a at glance at him, his golden eyes staring into mine. I held my breath, as I waited for him to consider my apology.

He stared at me, struggling to phrase his next question. "Are you going to ask me to quit the band?" He deadpanned, and I bit my lip at his harsh tone. I had fantasized about this conversation going differently, more towards the idea of him begging for my forgiveness and planning on quitting the band that day. But deep down, I knew better. Music was a huge part of Jace's life, so I would have to hide my feelings about the band and my brother for now. I couldn't lose him over this.

"No." I answered, shifting in my seat. "I'm not going to tell you what to do."

"Do you want me to quit the band?"

"No." I said, gripping the pen in my hand so tight my knuckles were white.

"You're a terrible liar, Clary." His glare had softened to a wary look, and I shrugged, trying to act as if I were truly okay.

"I just want us to be okay." I insisted,

"You're a real pain in my ass, you know." He grumbled, giving me a half smile I so desperately needed to see. And with that response, I knew I was forgiven.

"Alright class, today we're going to divide into your business groups. You need to choose a company that has had a recent downfall or scandal, and do a presentation about it and propose a solution." Our professor went on to discuss the rubric, and I groaned at the thought of a group project. At least Jace would be with me, but we needed another person.

"Hey, Jace." Someone whispered from behind us, and Jace turned around as Kaelie, the blond girl from a few weeks ago leaned towards him. The smell of her vanilla perfume made me want to sneeze. Did she like smelling like dessert? "Want to be in a group together?"

Jace looked at me, and I carefully shaped my face into a neutral smile. I glanced around, everyone around us had mostly divided up into groups. We needed a third person, and it would be awkward to say no but not be able to find someone else. Great.

"Uh, sure. This is Clary, Clary, this is Kaelie. I guess we have our group." Jace smiled, and she practically melted. She eyed me curiously, probably wondering about the nature of our relationship. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing it was in her favor.

"So nice to meet you. I didn't know you and Jace knew each other, he's never mentioned you." I smiled sweetly, surprising myself with my pettiness. What was wrong with me? She smiled back, exposing her super straight, white perfect teeth. I leaned away.

"I'm sure. We've met up a few times, but you know how that saying goes. Don't kiss and tell?" She shrugged, and I looked up at Jace, but he refused to meet my stare. I didn't have a response to that, my mind was reeling that he hadn't told me about meeting up with her. I guess I hadn't exactly given him a chance, and he sure hadn't been lonely the past week I had been ignoring him.

"Anyway, now that we've all met, we should think of companies to choose from." He said, eager to change the subject. Kaelie eagerly started chatting about a cosmetics line that was exposed for chemical testing on animals, while I tuned her out and thought about how much easier it would be if I weren't hopelessly in love with my best friend.

"Well, this project doesn't look to bad." Jace said, Kaelie had finally left us alone after class. I sighed, sipping my hot chocolate and clutching it in a desperate attempt to warm my hands as we walked to our cars.

"Yeah." I mumbled, hardly hearing him. All I wanted was to curl up in bed with Netflix and Diet Coke and erase the whole morning from my mind.

"Clary." He stopped, and I did too, looking up at him in confusion. "What's the matter? I thought you weren't mad at me anymore." He looked hurt, and I shook my head, offering a weak smile.

"No, I'm fine. I'm not mad at you." I didn't even want to think about him and Jonathan's band right now. "I just- uh, didn't know you and Kaelie had a past."

Jace had the decency to look uncomfortable, looking up at the cloudy sky. "Oh uh, yeah that was nothing. We've just been hanging out lately. She's really nice." He looked at me, his eyes searching mine for a possible explanation for my behavior. I couldn't give him one. "Is this why you're acting weird?"

I blanched. "No, of course not!" I exclaimed, stopping at my car. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I desperately needed to change the subject. "What are you doing now? Do you want to hang out?"

Now he was the one who looked scared. "Shit, I would but...I have band practice." He eyed me warily, probably waiting for me to explode. I felt like it, but kept my cool.

"Oh. Right. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then." I hurriedly got into my car, sighing with relief when he walked away to his car. Yeah, I was being real cool.

"So you're telling me you're trapped in a group with some girl Jace hooked up with? Man, that's awkward." Simon said, shaking his head as he flicked through channels on my TV in my living room. After coming home from class, I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. Simon was always fun to hang out with, but he was also always too perceptive. He knew something was bothering me the moment he saw me, and I had to give him the bare minimum of details.

"It's not awkward-" I cut myself off, cursing myself for not letting it go. "I mean it is, but I don't know. The way she looks at me like I've stolen her favorite lip gloss freaks me out."

"Well, in her mind you have. But it's Jace, not lipgloss." Simon said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Simon, that doesn't make any sense. Jace is a person, I didn't steal him from her." I refused to add to the fact that technically, I knew him first. Simon would have a field day with that.

"You're his best friend. I've seen the way you two look at each other." I opened my mouth to interrupt, automatically assuming he was going to go down that road that we're in love with each other. "Let me finish. I'm not saying you're in love with each other, but you do love each other. As people. She knows that, and can sense that you mean a lot more to him than she does. Even if she hooked up with him, that doesn't even begin to compare to all the memories you guys have with each other."

I nodded, talking to Simon actually made me feel better. "You should switch to psychology instead of accounting." I grinned, and he rolled his eyes, throwing a pillow at me.

"Yeah, I can give everyone great advice on telling their friend they're in love with them."

I froze, before realizing he meant him and Izzy. "You'll tell her one day."

"Yeah, the day you and Jace get together." He laughed, and I turned away, stung. I had it coming, but sometimes I felt like I was too good at convincing people we weren't meant to be together.

For the next week, I barely saw Jace. When he wasn't in school, he was practicing with the band, or 'doing homework', which I equated to hanging out with Kaelie. We only saw each other in business class, which was spent working on our group project. That usually entailed them laughing at jokes or experiences I wasn't apart of, while I quietly did my part for the project. Things hadn't been the same since our fight. Him and Kaelie had started to rekindle whatever relationship they had while I had been busy being mad at him.

I was in Starbucks after my last final when I heard Jace's unmistakable laugh. My head jerked up from my table in the back, and I saw him laughing with Kaelie, their heads bent over something on his phone. I watched for a moment, loneliness creeping over me. He had told me he had band practice, or homework, I couldn't remember his excuse. I prayed they would get their coffee to go, and not see me, but Jace seemed to sense I was looking and glanced over at me.

Shit. I didn't have a chance to look away, so I smiled awkwardly and turned back to my laptop, trying to look busy. It was a few minutes before he approached, sans Kaelie.

"Hey." He said softly, his golden eyes scrutinizing me, trying to figure out my mood. I put on my best fake smile, hoping he would buy it.

"Hey. Where's Kaelie?" I half expected her to pop out behind him, chattering about lattes. He sat in the chair next to me, putting his coffee down on my art history notes.

"She left. We ran into each other getting coffee. What are you doing here? You don't even like coffee." He laughed, and I shrugged.

"I can do whatever I want." I said, miffed. We had barely seen each other in a week and he was concerned about why I was sitting in Starbucks?

He grinned, sending my heart racing in my chest. "I know. I haven't seen you in awhile, things have been crazy with finals and the band. Can you take a break from studying?"

"I'm done actually, I took my last final today." I answered, packing up my stuff on the table. Jace handed me his cup, and I saw he had ordered me my favorite hot chocolate.

"Lucky, my last one is on Monday."

"So what do you want to do?" I asked, as we stepped out in the cold. We hadn't spent much time alone together, a week or so was a long time for us to spend without each other. "Don't you have band practice?"

"I was actually going to see if you wanted to come along. We've barely seen each other outside of working on the group project with Kaelie." I froze, panic ensuing throughout my body. Band practice? With Jonathan? We had barely made up from our fight over it.

"Jace." I looked at the ground, sure that if I looked into his eyes I would lose my control over the sadness and anger mixing through me at the thought of how much time he spent with my brother. "You know I can't do that. It would be best if I just stayed away. I get that you're in the band, I've accepted it. But I don't want anything to do with Jonathan."

He nodded, accepting my answer without pushing me. "I figured, I just had to ask. Are you ever even going to come to a gig? I'm sure it'll be a lot more people, so you won't really have to interact with him."

"Next you're going to start telling me what a cool guy Jonathan is and how I should just give it a chance, right? Well it's not happening. Unfortunately, I know him well enough to be smart to keep my distance." I retorted, quickening my pace as I saw my car.

He stopped me, and we stood in the parking lot staring at each other. His eyes were blazing with emotion he was struggling to contain. "I need you there. Music is important to me, this band is. You're the most important person in my life, Clary. You're the only person that I need to be there."

My heart was racing in my chest, his words warming me despite the cold air. "Can I think about it?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Fine."

My heart ached, I wished I could give him what he needed and be a normal best friend, tagging along to band practices and excited for his gigs. Anger flared through me as I thought about how my brother was slowly but surely ruining everything good in my life. Despite having made up from our fight, I could see this was going to be a recurring issue.

 **A/N: Thank you for the follows and reviews! I'm so happy you guys like this story, it helps so much to hear feedback and what you all think.**


	5. Five

"So how are things going with Jace?" Izzy asked, as we browsed through clothes at the mall. We were finally done with school, and had a good 6 weeks off. If it were up to Izzy, all 6 of those weeks would be spent at the mall. She had convinced me to come out, claiming she needed my opinion on things, but I knew she was genuinely concerned about Jace and I's friendship.

"Still a little weird. He's starting to get how upset I am about the band and my brother, and it's taking a toll on us." I said, aimlessly walking to another rack of clothes.

"Well, he's stuck between the two things he loves most, you and music." Izzy said, her brown eyes watching me carefully for my reaction.

"Yeah, I know." I said, desperate for the conversation to end. I was saved with the sound of my phone ringing, until I saw that Jace was calling. As I greeted him, I swore I saw Izzy smirking.

"What are you doing tonight?" Jace asked, and I considered lying, but my heart ached at the sound of his voice. I missed how easy it was to be around him and hang out, when there was no drama between us.

"Nothing, I'm at the mall with Izzy but I'll be home soon." I answered, and I cringed as I heard Kaelie's voice in the background. I really hoped he wasn't going to ask me to hang out with them.

"Good. We're having movie night. Me, you, and whatever chick flicks you want, I will suffer in silence. I miss you, Clary. I know things have been weird, and I've been being an asshole. I'm sorry about everything and how I've handled things." His voice was rough with emotion. "You deserve so much better than how I've been treating you."

I nodded, before remembering I was on the phone and he couldn't see me. My mind was whirling with different responses. I didn't want Jonathan and the band to come between us anymore than it already has, but it was constantly on my mind whenever I was with Jace.

"Clary? Are you there?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Yeah, come over tonight at 7." I hung up, and Izzy was looking at me expectantly.

"That sounded good." She grinned, and I rolled my eyes. "We're just having a movie night, he's trying to make up for being such an asshole."

"Mhmm." She winked, and I laughed, shooing her towards the dressing room.

"Come on, let's get this over with. You have so many clothes we may never get out of here."

"Clary, Jace is here!" I heard my mom call from downstairs, and the door opening. I ran a hand through my red curls, giving up on making my hair look nice as I tied it up in a loose messy bun as I dashed out of the bathroom. I bounded down the stairs, but tripped on the last step and when flying off of it, right into Jace.

"Woah, since when did you replace the Energizer Bunny?" He joked, steadying me. The touch of his hands against my thin t-shirt sent my pulse racing, and I had to collect myself before I could answer.

"Sorry, just excited. Maybe a bit overexcited." I shrugged, backing away. He was wearing a long sleeved fitted shirt, which drew my attention to his muscular upper body. I composed myself and look up at him to see his warm eyes staring into mine. I blushed, looking away. I didn't know why I was acting this way, my body's reaction to him was throwing me off.

"You're fine, I'm glad we're hanging out, just us." He elbowed me, and I shoved him back as we walked into the kitchen. My mom was rinsing out her wine glass, and noticed our shoving fight.

"Alright you two, you know the ground rules. No wrestling fights inside."

"Mom, we haven't wrestled since we were like, 10." I groaned, embarrassed that she would even think we would do that now.

"Yeah, and as if she could beat me now." Jace joked, gesturing to the obvious size differences between us. "I don't think Clary has grown since she was 10."

My mom laughed, and I smacked his arm in response. "Shut up, I have too. I'm almost 5'3 now!"

After more jokes at my expense, my mom finally left to go upstairs while Jace and I took over the living room. He had brought DVDs of my favorite movies, and my favorite candy, and I had permission from my mom to rent as many movies we wanted on demand.

"Alright, pick your poison," I grinned, holding up two movies. "The Notebook or The Lucky One?" I laughed as he groaned, throwing a pillow at me.

"Two Nicholas Sparks' movies? You can't even let me off easy?" He pleaded, unleashing the full force of his golden eyes on me. I wavered, before remembering how much of an asshole he had been over the last few weeks. I smiled, and he smirked, thinking he got me.

"The Lucky One it is then." I laughed as his jaw dropped, and then he nodded. "Yeah, I deserve to watch all of these." He said, looking at the array of movies on the coffee table.

"Hey, this is about hanging out together, not entirely about your punishment for being a jerk." I said, miffed. I didn't want him only hanging out with me because he felt like he had to.

"Aw, Clary. You know that's not what I meant. He said, grabbing my hand to stop me from putting in the DVD. "I want to hang out with you. I want to make it up to you. I'm just kidding about the movies, I would watch anything if it meant getting to spend time with you."

The seriousness of the conversation surprised me, as we had been joking around moments ago. "Jace, I know. It's okay, let's just have fun tonight. I'm glad you're making the effort." I said, starting the movie and sitting back on the couch. I was hyperaware of how close he was to me, our thighs were pressed against each other and I was leaning against his arm.

"Hey, if I make it through this movie without a single joke or snide comment, can we watch a scary movie?" Jace asked, and I snorted in disbelief.

"As if you could control yourself. You live for making fun of these movies." I laughed, shaking my head. "But alright, if it keeps you quiet for 10 minutes."

"Trust me, I've come to find I have very good self control around you." He said, and I looked up at him as he winked, sending my brain into overdrive. What could he mean by that?

As the movie went on, I was on edge as I realized Jace might actually win the bet, and would be able to not make a sarcastic comment or joke. By the time the credits were rolling, he was nearly shaking with suppressed laughter as I groaned, knowing he has won and would collect on this bet.

"You're ruining girls night." I pleaded, as he scrolled through the channels on the movie listings on the TV. I made a grab for the remote, but he easily held it away from me as he used his other hand to keep me away from it.

"You decided to bet against me. I would have thought you would learn by now." He grinned, as he scanned the list of horror films.

"Yeah, you and this super self-control you claim to have." I joked, eyeing his facial expression carefully. I hadn't forgotten what he had said earlier, and I was itching to know more.

He bit his lip, but didn't give anything away. I poked him in the ribs, which he retaliated by reaching for my ribs, tickling me mercilessly as I squirmed to shove him away. Through our scuffling, he reached for my other side, and I leaned backwards towards the other end of the couch, nearly laying down in a desperate move to stop the tickling. His hand slipped, causing him to hover above me, his face so close to mine I could see the beginning of stubble on his face. I could feel the heat of his body against mine, and I felt myself wishing we were closer. His eyes were looking down at my face, focusing on my lips. I was laughing so hard my abdominal muscles hurt, but all that was forgotten as an odd expression crossed his face. I swear he moved his face slightly closer, his eyes dark gold with some strange emotion I couldn't figure out.

He blinked, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it and pushed himself off me, his expression carefully neutral now. "Sorry about that, I almost crushed you."

"N-No, it was fine." I stuttered, still reeling from the effects of such fleeting physical closeness with him. I could barely think straight. The title screen glowed red as the opening sequence started, and I made one last feeble attempt to get the remote away from him.

"Nope." He grinned, tossing it on the chair as far away from me. I considered making a run for it, but he was faster than me. I relented, sitting back on the couch and groaning as the opening credits continued, setting the scene in some sort of haunted house.

"Jace, you know scary movies freak me out." I insisted, but he just laughed, throwing his arm around me and pulling me against his side. I froze for moment, this was not how we usually sat and watched movies. The urge to be closer to him resurfaced, and I swore my heart was beating loud and fast enough for him to hear it.

"Don't worry, I won't let the monsters come out of the TV and hurt you. I heard that only happens when you watch "The Grudge." Some sort of special effect."

"You're so obnoxious." I grumbled, but I was temporarily placated from throwing a hissy fit about the movie by the close proximity I was to him. I had to stop thinking about it, and a scary movie seemed like the perfect distraction.

 **A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and follows! Sorry about the longer wait, classes have started so things are starting to get crazy with school but I promise I'll keep up with writing. Let me know what you guys think!**


	6. Six

"Mom, I really don't feel good." I insisted, making once more last ditch effort to convince her not to make me go out to dinner for my Valentine's birthday. At this point, I wasn't even sure if I was lying. Just thinking about being trapped in a restaurant with my brother and dad was enough to make me feel queasy.

"Clarissa." She sighed, leaning her head against the steering wheel and slumping her shoulders. A twinge of guilt pierced me, I hadn't been making this easy for her. "Please, for me, just try and get through it. It makes everything a lot easier for everyone if you go in there with a least a semi-good attitude."

"Fine." I said, stung by her assumption I was to blame for the arguments that went on whenever we tried celebrating a family member's birthday. For the last few years, my only birthday wish was to spend it without any family, and Jace had been there to make the day special.

My father however, either had a sick sense of humor or just drank so much he forgot about how horrific his birthday is whenever we all get together. My mom and Valentine mostly get along for our benefit, but the last few years Jonathan and I have really lashed out towards each other, making these dinners nearly unbearable.

"All you have to do, is ignore whatever Jonathan says to you, and be the bigger person."

I wasn't sure how that was going to work. Jonathan had a lot more to talk about with me this year, as my best friend was a member of his band. Also, I hadn't seen him in awhile, despite our parent's efforts to get us to reconcile, which would mean he would have a lot of insults saved up.

When we arrived at the restaurant, the hostess informed us Jonathan and Valentine were already there. We were escorted to the table, and I avoided eye contact for as long as possible as we took off our coats and sat down.

"Ah, Clarissa. You look well." Valentine beamed, grinning as his sipped his wine. I smiled, nodding my head in thanks and picking up my menu, pretending to be extremely interested in the appetizers. I could sense Jonathan staring at me, clearly irritated I was ignoring him. My mom and Valentine were discussing the menu, when a kick to my leg startled me. I looked up, meeting the dark green eyes of my brother. He ran a hand through his white blonde hair, even though it was perfectly brushed back.

"Seriously, Jonathan?" I snapped, fidgeting in my seat to keep my legs as far away as possible under the table from him.

"Sorry, my leg slipped." He smirked, shrugging innocently. Now that he successfully had my attention, he continued. "I haven't seen you in awhile, Clarissa."

"Well, I haven't exactly wanted to see you." I quipped, sipping my water. My mom was still wrapped up in conversation, but I knew she was highly attuned to how loud my voice was, waiting for me to start arguing with Jonathan.

"Such a shame. I've been meaning to talk to you about my band. We're doing amazingly well, our first gig is coming up soon. Jace is a great asset." He grinned, his smile razor sharp.

"I know how talented he is, he's my best friend." I growled, possessive over Jace. "You're lucky he's even in your band, he had other options."

"Ah, and yet he picks the one he knows will upset you most." Jonathan's smile was razor sharp. "He doesn't sound like a very good friend."

"You don't know anything about our friendship." I slammed my menu down, glaring at him. My mom looked over at from the other end of the table, her eyes warning me. The waitress arrived to take our order, and Jonathan waited until she was gone to continue attack.

"Actually Clarissa, it doesn't seem like you're such a good friend. You claim to know how talented Jace is, but I haven't seen you at a single practice. When's the last time you've even heard him play? No wonder he and that blonde girl are always together. She at least supports him." His words were knives, directed exactly where he knew it would hurt the most. He knew Jace was the most important person in my life, and he was all to ready to try and dismantle our friendship.

"I don't know who you're talking about." I shot back, aware of my mom and Valentine's silence. I lowered my voice, desperate to not cause a scene. Jonathan always kept his cool, he wa somehow able to control his temper the few occasions I managed to get under his skin. "Jace can hang out with whoever he wants. We're just friends." I spit the last sentence out, every cell is my body wishing I could deny it. "That's all it will ever be."

"Clearly. He has so much potential, and so out of your league. You'll just tie him down with whatever useless degree you're planning on getting. What was it? Art?" He smiled, knowing he was getting to me. "He's better off without you." The waitress reappeared, hastily setting our food in front of us before scurrying away. She could sense the tension at the table.

My parents had finally noticed Jonathan and I's hushed argument, and took over the conversation. I sat back in my chair, fighting back angry tears as I thought about what Jonathan had said. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't listen to him, but he had a knack for knowing exactly what to say to hurt me. He had also managed to bring up feelings I had thought were long gone about Jace.

"Clary, do you want to talk about it?" My mom asked, as I slammed the car door shut, making my way towards the house. Dinner hadn't gone well, my dad had started trying to recruit me to work for his company, no matter how many times I told him my interests were in art. He owned a huge tech company, and was grooming Jonathan to take over one day. The last thing I wanted was to work for my brother.

Jonathan, seeing that he had hit a nerve by talking about Jace, had been happy to continue lecturing me on how inadequate of a friend I was for Jace, and how he would never see me as more than a childhood friend who didn't even support his dreams.

"No, mom. I told you I didn't want to go, and what did you expect to happen? I can handle dad, for like five minutes. But Jonathan?" I shook my head, kicking off my shoes and making my way upstairs. "Jonathan makes me miserable. He enjoys seeing me angry and upset. Why can't you just ever listen to me?"

"Clary." She called, walking up the stairs behind me as I took them two at a time, a major feat for someone my height. "What else am I supposed to do? It's your brother and your father. I don't know why Jonathan acts out like that, I truly don't. Yes, our family is broken. You have no idea how much I wish things were different." Her voice caught, and I could tell she was trying not to cry in front of me. My relationship with Jonathan and my father must be effecting her worse than I thought.

"Well mom, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know why he blames me for the way our family is, but if I'm so destructive in relationships, maybe I should just own up to it." I snapped, slamming my door. She knocked, calling my name, but I ignored her. Eventually, she left me alone.

I paced my room, antsy and unable to stop thinking about what Jonathan had said. He always twisted everything I did to make it seem horrible, but he had never brought Jace into it like this. Sitting on my bed, I was dismayed to see it was barely 8 pm. Too early to sleep, but too much time to think.

Picking up my phone, I considered texting Jace, but Jonathan's words stopped me. Out of everything he said, him telling me that I would never be more to Jace than just a friend was stuck in my mind. The tears were coming, thick and fast down my cheeks, and I struggled to find motivation to stop them.

A knock on my door startled me, I had thought my mom was going to give me the night and then try and talk about it tomorrow. Without bothering to wipe the tears from my face, I went to door, swinging it open. "Mom, I told you-" I stopped, confused to see Jace standing there, looking concerned. "What are you doing here?" I gasped, stepping back. He entered my room, shutting the door behind me and wrapping me in his arms, squeezing me so tight I could barely breathe.

"I know it's your dad's birthday. Jonathan mentioned it at band practice the other day. I know you guys usually go out to dinner, so I figured you would be back by now. He just tried to call some emergency band meeting, but I skipped it." He let go, and I stumbled back, struggling to keep up with his explanation. He eyed my phone thrown haphazardly on the floor. "I also assumed you wouldn't be answering anyone's calls, so I just came over." I still hadn't spoken, and he suddenly looked unsure. "I mean, I can go, if you want to be alone."

"No!"I nearly shouted, grabbing his hand. I collected myself, but as soon as I looked at him, all the hurtful things Jonathan said sprang back into my mind. "Can you stay, please?" My voice was thick from crying, and I couldn't stop the next onslaught of tears as he nodded, leading me to the bed. He let me cry into his chest, probably ruining his sweatshirt as he rubbed my back and held me close.

I don't know how long he held me like that, or when I fell asleep to the reassuring sound of Jace's heartbeat.

 **A/N: Thank you for all your feedback! It really helps make this story better for you all. Question: Would Jace's point of view be a good idea for this story? Let me know, please!**


	7. Seven

Jace

I woke up to muted sunlight coming through the blinds in Clary's room, shining on her red curls as she lay cuddled against my side. I carefully stroked her face, marveling at how smooth her skin was. She moved instinctively towards me and I snatched my hand back. I had to be more careful.

Normally, when I slept over Clary's I maintained a careful distance. It was becoming more and more tempting to hold her in my arms, and I was beginning to crave the feel of her soft skin. I didn't know what was coming over me, but I could not allow any of these strange feelings ruining our friendship. Sure, there were a few exceptions to my rule. Last night, for example, she had cried herself to sleep in my arms, and I hadn't moved her. Currently, she was curled against my side, her face inches from mine.

Thinking of how upset she was had me tense with suppressed anger. Clary had managed to tell me some of the things he had said before she fell asleep, and I have never wanted to physically harm someone so badly before. I sighed, knowing that it would not help anything if I beat up Jonathan.

Clary mumbled, her eyes fluttering open and then shutting as the sunlight hit her eyes, sending her burying her face into me. She groaned, and I laughed, causing her to peek up at me. Her emerald green eyes widened, and she say up quickly, running a hand through her curls.

"Hey, sorry about all that last night. You caught me at a bad time." She said sheepishly, biting her full bottom lip. I shook my head, trying to send all thoughts about her lips out of my head.

"Clary, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm glad I came over when I did, I've never seen you so upset before." I said, eyeing her carefully for more tears. She shrugged, trying to play it off, but I saw right through her. "Please, don't act like this isn't a big deal."

"Jace, I don't know what you want me to say." She insisted, tugging on her curls and avoiding eye contact.

"You seem to be forgetting I've seen you after seeing your brother. Yes, you guys fight, but you've never had this reaction. Normally you're more angry, but you've never cried like that." She scowled, glaring at her comforter. I was getting somewhere, but it was clear she wasn't about to give up her reasons for being so upset.

"I know, okay? Jonathan and I always fight, but last night was different. Normally, he just uses my choice of education and how different we are against me, which just pisses me off. He's a perfectionist, and the one thing in his life that isn't perfect is his family. He blames me for our parent's divorce, which I've gotten over. But he's never had to use you against me." She finally looked up at me, and her green eyes were full of pain. Her words hit me, and a wave of guilt hit me. I was the reason she had been so upset. My involvement with the band had given Jonathan a new angle to hurt Clary with.

"It's my fault. I'm so sorry I-" I stopped. My reflex was to tell her I was quitting the band, but I couldn't. There was so much that Clary didn't know, it was about so much more than just being in a band with Jonathan.

"Jace, why are you in his band?" She asked, the question that she desperately needed and answer to and the answer to which made me feel so ashamed. I took a deep breath, knowing I couldn't keep it from her any longer. I had hurt her enough trying to spare her from all the details, and now I had to stop.

"Clary, my dad hasn't been doing well. He never got over losing my mom, and it's taken it's toll even after 18 years. He's been gambling, and drinking, enough that he's barely getting by paying the bills. If I didn't have a scholarship to Leigh, my tuition would have been the first thing to go towards the bills. But I don't even have that to fall back on. He's getting out of control. You know how he's always on business trips? Most of those are gambling trips that he's covering up." I was speaking too fast, my words were coming out in a rush, but Clary was listening intently.

"Jace, why didn't you tell me?" She said, reaching for my hand. I hung my head back, staring at her ceiling to try and ignore the feel of her soft hand in mine.

"I didn't know how to tell anyone. I thought I could fix it, and if no one knew then it never happened. I don't have time for a full time job to bring money in, I considered quitting school, but that wouldn't get me anywhere in making money and I can't hide that from you. So my plan was to join a band, and make money off any gigs we had. It was a stupid idea, because the likelihood of me actually joining a band good enough to make money is ludicrous." I shook my head, feeling as if there was a weight being lifted off my shoulders. "And that's when I auditioned for Jonathan's band. They've already had labels looking into them, but lost one of their guys last minute. They were scrambling to find someone good enough for the labels to still be interested in them, and I needed a band that would help me."

I bit my lip, thinking of all the nights I had fantasized about telling Clary all of this, but scared she would reject my explanation and still be upset about the band situation and her brother. "I've wanted to tell you this the second it all started happening, but after your reaction to finding out I was in the band, I was afraid you would still hate me for it anyway."

Clary was speechless, for once. She was staring at me, her mouth slightly agape. "Jace, I never could hate you. I wish I had known... It all makes sense now. You've been avoiding having me over, you've been acting so strange. Does Jonathan know all of this? or Kaelie?"

"No, no one knows. He just thinks I want to be famous. That's probably he was giving you such a hard time last night, he doesn't know my real motives for being in the band. Also, I would never tell him something that you didn't know. Especially something like this." I insisted, squeezing her hand. "And I know I've been acting weird. And as for Kaelie, there is truly nothing there. She was a distraction from everything. She doesn't know me well enough to see there's something wrong, and all she cares about is physical attraction. It's nothing more than that, and I have no interest in pursuing anything more with her."

Relief flashed across Clary's face, but was quickly replaced with concern before I could ask about it. "So what's really going on with the band? Are there gigs lined up? Are you being signed to a label?" She asked, her eyes full of more questions. "Wait, how is everything with the money situation? Sorry, I just have so many questions." She said, looking abashed.

"The money situation is getting slightly better. My dad hasn't completely gambled away everything, and the band is slowly bringing in money. Our first gig is actually coming up soon, we're playing at the Emporium, that club downtown. It's supposed to be huge, and we're actually getting paid. A guy from the label might show up, which would be amazing. I've been wanting to ask you to go..." I trailed off, not sure how she would respond. "But I understand if you can't."

"I'm going." She said, her tone telling me it was a final decision. "I'm not afraid of Jonathan. Now that we've talked everything out, there isn't anything he can say that's going to upset me. I'm done letting him get away with hurting me."

"Good." I grinned, smirking at her. "I can't wait to tell everyone you're my date." I joked, tugging on a wayward curl.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, but she was blushing as she ducked her head to and swatted my hand away. Hmm. That was interesting, was Clary having trouble hiding unfamiliar feelings like I was? I watched as she got up out of bed, walking over to her vanity to inspect her face. "Ugh, I'm such a mess." She indicated to the slight smudges of eye makeup from her night of crying.

She didn't look like a mess. She looked happy, and I couldn't believe she couldn't see how the sunlight coming through her window lit up her green eyes and danced in her hair. Her skin glowed, and her cheeks were still tinged pink from blushing.

"You're beautiful." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. A moment passed as we both stared at each other in shock, before I recovered and cleared my throat. "Anyway, I better get going. You're mom is probably worried about you after last night." I stood up, stretching and grabbing my keys and wallet. I had to leave before I started saying more things that I thought of when I looked at her, none of them appropriate to say to your best friend.

"Oh, right." She recovered from my outburst, following me towards the door. "Thank you for coming over, and tell me everything. It means a lot." She looked up at me, smiling. It was the happiest I had seen her in weeks. She hugged me, and I nearly lost my mind at how close she was, and feeling her body pressed against mine. I hugged her back for as long as I could stand, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo before I backed away, nearly tripping over my own feet.

"Anytime." I said sincerely, turning to go downstairs. As I walked down the stairs, I turned around to look back up at her. "Oh, by the way, there's supposed to be a huge snow storm coming up tomorrow. Are you coming over for a snow day?" Every winter break, we got a least one huge storm. Clary, Alec, Izzy, Simon, Magnus and I had made it a tradition to stay at one of our houses every year, and spend all day having snowball fights and following it up with a movie night sleepover. We didn't get to all see each other as much as we wanted during school, so we were all anticipating this snow storm.

"Of course. Who's house is it at?" She grinned, leaning against the banister. Her tank top was already low cut enough to test my self-control, but leaning over did nothing but make it difficult for me to concentrate enough to answer.

"Mine, my dad's actually on a business trip this time. But he said it's fine, as long as I don't burn the house down."

"Hm. Maybe I should be in charge of making hot chocolate this year." She laughed, as I rolled my eyes and grinned back before I was out the door, grateful for the cold air that greeted me. I needed to clear my head.

 **A/N: Thank you for the reviews! They truly make writing this such a great experience, I love hearing what you guys think. I hope you like this, let me know!**


	8. Eight

Clary

My phone vibrating against my ear woke me up the next morning. Without opening my eyes, I tried turning the alarm off only to startled by Jace's voice.

"Clary, I'm leaving in 10 minutes to come get you. There's already six inches of snow, it's coming down fast." I could practically feel his excitement. Jace was like a little kid when it came to snow.

"I've been up, I'm almost ready." I mumbled, trying to act as if I hadn't just woken up. I fought back a yawn as I sat up, my bed creaking with my movement.

"Liar, it's 10 am. I just woke you up." He laughed, and I sighed, he knew me too well sometimes.

"Funny. I'll be ready when you're here." I hung up, scrambling to pack my clothes in an overnight bag. I nearly tripped as I changed out of my pajamas, throwing them on my bathroom floor in a rush to shower and finish getting ready.

"You promise you guys will all stay at his house? I'm worried enough about you getting there, I don't need you all trying to drive tonight." My mom fretted, as I grabbed a granola bar from the pantry. I sighed, holding the granola bar in my mouth as I braided my wet hair.

"Mom, we do this every year. We'll be fine, no one else is driving. Izzy and Alec live close enough to walk, and Simon is picking up Magnus in his truck. I gotta go, Jace is outside." I said when I was done, hugging her before making my way to the door. We had spent the day together after Jace left yesterday, and had a long conversation about Jonathan and what had happened. She was still worried about me, but she knew spending time with my friends was the best remedy. I hadn't told her what was going on with Jace's dad, I still needed to talk to him about it and make sure he was doing okay.

I opened the front door, only to be met with a snowball to the neck. "Jace!" I gasped, frantically wiping the melting snow off my skin, shivering in the arctic air. "You're so dead." I glared at him as he laughed a few feet away, close enough for me to send a snowball flying his way before he could make a run for me. It hit my target, exploding on his chest.

"Oh, you're going to regret that." He grinned, and I yelped as made a dash for the car, but I was too slow. Strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me away from the safety of the car and dangled me precariously over the snow. I struggled, but Jace barely noticed as he successfully released a handful of snow down my back.

"Ohhhh." I shivered, feeling it melt against my back. "I'm going to get you back for that." He just smirked, setting me down and opening the car door for me.

"You can try, but I doubt it." He winked, rushing to get in the driver's side. I looked up at the stormy gray sky, the snow was coming down thick and fast. I got inside the warm car, holding my hands up against the heat vents.

"When is everyone coming over?" I asked, as he carefully drove through the quiet neighborhood. We only lived a few minutes away from each other, which was convenient considering how the roads were already bad enough.

"They should be there by now or soon after we get to my house. Izzy and Alec got there as soon as I left to get you." He answered, completely focused on driving through the snowy roads.

"Jace, about your dad.." I started, but he cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

"Clary, I don't want to talk about it. I told you I'm handling it. If it gets any worse, I'll tell you, I promise. But right now, he's the last thing I want to talk about." He insisted, his voice hardening. He made the turn onto his street, and I knew I couldn't say anything more once we were with all of our friends.

"Okay, but please don't shut me out. These last few weeks have been hell with everything going on." I said, and he parked the car before turning in his seat to look at me. His golden eyes stared into mine as he reached up slowly, his fingers brushing my cheek and setting my face aflame as he tucked a flyaway curl behind my ear.

"I won't shut you out. Things are different now." His voice was rough with emotion, and I could barely think straight. We both had leaned in unconsciously towards each other, and I felt a strong urge to be closer. Before my body had the chance to react to my traitorous thoughts, a knock on the window startled both of us. I leaned back, exhaling as Izzy's face peered in, the expression on her face pure glee.

Jace opened the door, and Izzy was practically vibrating with excitement. "Oh my god. Did I just interrupt something?" She winked, and I rolled my eyes, getting out of the Jeep. Truthfully, I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't knocked on the window, which terrified me. I eyed Jace, but his facial expression was composed a he grabbed my bag from the back seat and followed Izzy inside his house.

Magnus, Simon, and Alec were at the door, having arrived shortly before Jace and I. Everyone was talking at once, excited to all be reunited. We hadn't hung out as a group since Magnus' party. I noticed Magnus holding bags from the liquor store, and I felt a moment of panic as I remembered the last time I had been drunk.

"Relax, I told Magnus to pick up our favorite wine. No blackouts tonight." Izzy whispered in my ear, noticing my facial expression. I relaxed, laughing with her as we went upstairs to change into warmer clothes to go outside in.

"Alright, teams. Izzy and I will be Captains." Jace said, as we all assembled in his backyard. I laughed to myself, they took snowball fights very seriously. "Ladies first." He gestured to Izzy, and she rolled her eyes.

"Simon." Simon looked up, surprised she had picked him first. I grinned as he trudged through the snow to stand next to her, smiling. The next few minutes resulted in them arguing over the teams; Izzy claimed Alec and him couldn't be on the same team since they were both annoyingly accurate when throwing snowballs. When it finally got sorted out, I was on Jace's team with Magnus, and Alec was with Izzy and Simon.

We separated to make some sort of fort to hide behind and make snowballs. Jace and Magnus were discussing strategies while I dutifully molded snowballs, placing them in a pile to easily access once the battle started.

"Clary, your hands are so small these snowballs are more like cotton balls." Jace laughed, appraising my work. I squinted up at him throwing the falling snow, noticing how the snowflakes stuck in his blonde curls made him look like an angel.

"You look like a snow angel with those snowflakes in your hair." I shot back, grinning as he glared at me and ruffled his hair, pulling the hood on his sweatshirt up.

"You're one to talk." He took a scoop of snow in his hands, and sent it sprinkling over my head. He laughed as I reached for one of my snowballs and tried to shove it down the neck of his sweatshirt, but I tripped in the deep snow and ended up tackling him, my legs landing on either side of his hips and I found myself literally sitting on top of him. I had caught him off guard with the way we landed, so I took the opportunity to continue my attack and gave him a sweatshirt full of snow. He looked up at me, his eyes meeting mine. There was something in the way he was looking at me that made me feel incredibly exposed. I suddenly felt very warm despite the freezing hair, and and I could feel my cheeks heating up as I realized how exactly I was sitting on him. I rolled off, and heard Magnus chuckling behind me.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you two can continue that later." He winked, and I refused to make eye contact, and thankfully I was saved from further embarrassment by a flurry of snowballs flying through the air. We spent the next few hours chasing each other around with snowballs, until I could barely breathe from laughing so hard.

"I'm never going to be able to feel my hands again." Izzy groaned, shivering as she clutched her mug of hot chocolate in her hands. We had finally came inside once it started to get dark, and feasted on frozen food Jace had stocked in his freezer since no delivery person would make it out in the storm.

"I know, right?" I agreed, pulling the too long sleeves of Jace's long sleeved shirt over my hands. Jace had lent me it after I realized I had left my pajamas on the floor of my bathroom. Thankfully Izzy had packed an extra pair of leggings, so I wasn't drowning in his sweatpants too. I followed Izzy into the living room, grabbing the bottle of wine on our way out.

Izzy joined Simon on the sectional couch, with Alec and Magnus on the other end. I paused as I entered the room, noticing the looks Magnus was giving me as Jace smiled and made room for me on the armchair he was sitting on. I poured wine for Izzy and me, and went to join Jace on the chair. I found myself cuddled up to Jace's side, as Magnus smirk became more pronounced and I could tell he was seconds from making some sort of comment.

"Let's play truth or dare." Izzy called, drawing everyone's attention to her. "Or strip poker." She winked, and Alec groaned.

"I am not playing strip poker with my sister." Everyone laughed, as Izzy shrugged and put down her deck of cards. Sipping her wine, she eyed Jace and I.

"Truth or dare it is then." I felt a flash of fear as I thought about what this game could entail. "But first, everyone needs some alcohol."

Once we were all properly fitted with drinks of our choice, the game began. Izzy's rules were simple. Do the dare, or answer a question, or take a drink. I watched as she set her eyes on Simon, who was holding a beer as if it were a glass of poison.

"Simon, truth or dare?" She smiled sweetly, and he gulped.

"Uh, dare."

She leaned back pondering her next move. "Alright, I'll go easy on you for now. Sing the alphabet without moving your mouth." Simon's attempts at this had us crying from laughing so hard, and he could barely get through the entire thing without joining in.

As the game went on, the questions and dares got funnier the more we drank. After a few rounds and another glass of wine, I was relaxed, until it was Magnus' turn to ask Jace.

"Jace, truth or dare." Magnus grinned, and Jace stared him down, smirking. Jace hadn't taken a sip of his beer during the game, he lived for dares.

"Dare." Jace met Magnus' stare, and Magnus grinned. "I dare you to kiss Clary."

The room was silent except for the music playing on Simon's speakers. Magnus sat back, ignoring my glare as he looked from me to Jace. Izzy's mouth was agape, and Alec looked concerned. I felt a swell of panic as I stared into my wine glass, my face burning. I watched as Jace slowly picked up his drink, and took a long sip of his beer in surrender. I felt hot all over with embarrassment, with the confirmation that Jace truly didn't want to even kiss me for a game. Thankfully, Simon spoke up, even though technically it was Jace's turn to ask me.

"Anyway, let's play something else. I've gotten really good a beer pong, who's in?" He asked, jumping to his feet. Izzy followed him to the kitchen, and Magnus and Alec went with them to look for cups and a ping pong ball. I was left squeezed into the chair with Jace, and before he could say anything I leapt to my feet, making a run for the bathroom.

"Clary, wait." He called, following me to the hallway. I whirled around, plastering a fake smile on my face so he couldn't see how stung I was by his reaction to Magnus' dare. "Please, just stop."

"What? It's fine. Magnus is just a little drunk, he likes to shake things up. I'm not upset about anything." I scoffed, shrugging. Jace stared at me, his expression incredulous. The wine was making my head hurt, but not as much as it hurt to see Jace's troubled expression as I shut the bathroom door in his face.

I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to calm down. My eyes were a little glassy, and my cheeks were bright red. I fussed with my hair, and splashed water on my face. I couldn't help but think of all the strange moments Jace and I had been experiencing, like in the car before Izzy came outside, or when I tackled him in the snow. Sometimes, I swore he was showing signs of having feelings for me that were stronger than just friendship, but it was too hard to tell for sure.

I sighed, vowing to not let this one incident ruin my night. I could always sleep on the couch tonight if I wanted to, I didn't have to sleep in Jace's room. The thought of that turned my stomach as I opened the door to go back to the kitchen.

A beer pong game was in full force when I arrived, and I stood in the doorway and surveyed the scene before me. Izzy and Simon were close to beating Magnus and Alec. I watched as Simon got the winning shot, and him and Izzy cheered in celebration. Izzy suddenly looked up at Simon, and pulled him close. She kissed him, right in front of all of us as Simon nearly dropped his drink with surprise. I smiled as they broke away, and he was looking at her with such adoration and joy I felt as if I were intruding.

Magnus, Alec, and Jace recovered from their shock and started cheering, slapping Simon on the back and I clapped, genuinely happy for both of them. "Sorry, but I've been waiting way too long to do that." Izzy flipped her hair, and Simon was speechless, with the biggest smile on his face.

Amidst all the cheering and shouting, I caught Jace staring at me, leaning against the kitchen counter, a glass of water in his hand. I looked away, purposely walking over to Simon as he went to the fridge for another drink while Izzy set up the cups for another game.

"Wow, you must be happy." I joked, and he laughed, turning away from the fridge to smile at me.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life." He joked, turning to look at Izzy. I felt a pang of sadness as I looked back over at Jace, who was joking around with Alec, trying to do ridiculous trick shots.

"I knew it would work out with you guys." I smiled, and Simon nodded, eyeing me thoughtfully.

"You know, I think something is going on with you and Jace." He said, and I widened my eyes at him, warning him not to continue. He put his hand up to stop me from talking, and continued anyway. "Listen, I see the way he looks at you. You look at him the same way. You've been a mess these past few weeks with everything going on with him, the band, even that girl Kaelie. But trust me, there's something there. Neither of you want to admit it." He shrugged, as I stared at him in shock over his sudden revelation.

"Simon-I-We-" I could barely utter a sentence as he left my side to join Izzy at the table. Jace chose that moment to come up to me, his golden eyes full of apologies. I recoiled from his touch, I didn't want him to try and cheer me up simply because he felt bad for rejecting me, regardless of what Simon said.

"Clary. Please let me explain." He insisted, and I felt my eyes burning with unshed tears threatening to spill over. I shook my head, tight lipped as I slipped out of his grasp and moved over to the rest of our group at the table.

"Ugh, my stupid phone charger broke. Does anyone have another one I can borrow?" Izzy groaned, looking at me pleadingly. I laughed, Izzy was addicted to her phone and panicked whenever it wasn't charged.

"Sure, I have one upstairs, I'll get it." I called to her, already on my way out of the kitchen. I needed to take a breather from all the chaos downstairs and think about what Simon had said.

I rummaged through my bag in Jace's room, and I didn't notice he had followed me upstairs until I turned around. I jumped, nearly dropping the charger in my hands.

"Shit, Jace, you scared me." I laughed, my heart beating fast. "I better get this to Izzy, you know how she gets when her phone is dead." I made a move to go around him, but he stopped me, his hand on my waist.

"I have to talk to you. You've been avoiding me since the truth of dare game." He said, and I sighed, looking up at him.

"There's nothing to talk about. It was a stupid dare, and you didn't want to do it. Magnus just got some idea in his head about us after he saw me tackle you in the snow." I said, aware that I was babbling. I stepped around him, and he didn't stop me as I reached for the door. "We can just forget-"

"I wanted to." Jace interrupted me, the words coming out in a rush. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to." I paused, whirling around and staring at him in confusion. Was he drunk? His eyes were clear and focused, and I knew he hadn't drank anything except for his sip of beer during the game.

"Jace, I don't understand." I said, frustrated. "Then why didn't you? It wouldn't have been a big deal; I wouldn't have cared."

"That's not it." He ran a hand through his hair, stepping away from me and pacing back and forth. "It's just-that's not how it's supposed to go. Our first kiss isn't going to be to prove a point to our friends, or in some stupid game." I was struggling to keep up with what he was saying, it wasn't making any sense to me.

"Jace..." I trailed off, and he stopped pacing to stare at me. I've never seen him look so agitated, his golden eyes were wide, his hair tousled from running his hands through it. He moved closer to me, and I froze, my heart crashing in my chest. He reached out, pulling me until I was so close I could feel his body heat through his shirt. I gulped, unable to think of anything except the way he was looking at me, his head bent towards mine, his lips mere inches away.

"Clary." He whispered my name like a prayer, before I was pushed up against the door and his lips were on mine. I couldn't think, all I could focus on was the feeling of his body pressed against me, his lips moving with mine. I kissed him back, my blood singing in my veins as my mind tried and failed to comprehend what was happening. Jace's hands were sliding down my back, holding me closer to him. His lips parted, and the kiss got more intense, my mouth opening to deepen it.

My heart was beating so fast I was sure he could feel it as he kissed my jaw, down my neck. My whole body craved his touch, and before I knew it my hands were sliding up his shirt, feeling the muscles and smooth skin I had never dreamed I would feel. He groaned as my hands explored, he was practically shaking underneath my hands. My whole body felt warm, a heat fueled by desire that I had never felt for anyone before. My hands moved to his hair, drawing his face back to mine. I kissed him fervently, as if it would be the last time I would get to.

The phone charger dropped to the ground, clattering on the wood floors and startling us back to reality. We stared at each other, he took a step back to bend down and pick up the charger. I remained pressed against the door, frozen as I tried and failed to process what had just happened.

"Uhm, wow." I blinked, not sure if this was really happening. "You've been holding out on me." I joked, trying to recover from the effects of the kiss.

Jace looked at me, his smile making my knees feel weak. "So much for my self-control." He laughed softly, wrapping an arm around my waist so and stroking my cheek with his other hand.

"That's how I wanted our first kiss to be like." He grinned, and I laughed breathlessly, trying to calm my rapid heartbeat. All of my senses felt attuned to Jace, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to go back downstairs and sit next to him as if nothing had happened.

"We should probably go downstairs."Jace said glumly, toying with the charger in his hands. He looked at me, his eyes full of desire that made downstairs the last place I wanted to be. "But don't worry, we have all night to figure this out." He smiled, placing another deep kiss on my lips before taking my hand and opening the door.


	9. Nine

_Clary_

If you asked me even the name of the movie we watched that night, I wouldn't have been able to tell you. My brain was barely registering that I was with my friends, all my mind was doing was replaying the kiss between Jace and I. I swore he could tell what I was thinking, I could hear his heart beat faster when I laid my head against his chest.

However, once my brain got over the bliss of the moment, the anxiety and panic set in. I rotated between questions such as why he kissed me, what this would do to our friendship, and what the rest of the night entailed. I had no immediate answers, which left me even more stressed.

As the last scene of the movie faded to the credits, I felt the mood shift in the night. Izzy was yawning, half asleep against Simon, who looked at her with adoration. Magnus and Alec began collecting the empty cups and bottles on the table, and Jace was staring at me. I got up, helping Magnus and Alec as a distraction. I felt very out of sorts, like I was having an out of body experience. I felt embarrassed, Jace seemed perfectly fine. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal to him.

"I'm so tired." Izzy groaned, getting to her feet with Simon following her lead. She hugged us goodnight, leaving to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms with Simon. Alec and Magnus finished cleaning up, and left too. Jace and I stood in the kitchen, alone.

"So." I started to speak, and then clammed up. I fiddled with the salt and pepper shakers on the counter, unable to work up the courage to demand answers. Jace laughed, walking over to me and moving the shakers away from me. I looked up at him, his eyes warm and comforting. I felt strangely at ease, given the situation. This was Jace, he wouldn't hurt me.

"How do you feel?" He murmured, his hand reaching to my face to tuck a loose curl behind my ear. My heart stuttered and he grinned at my reaction.

"Fine." My voice was shaky and breathless, and I worked to control it. "What about you?" I wasn't used to being this nervous around Jace.

"I've honestly never been happier." He smiled, resting his hand on my waist. "I know it happened kind of suddenly, but it feels like it's taken forever. I've wanted to do that for awhile." He began speaking faster, something I knew he did when he was nervous. It comforted me, to see him lose the easy confidence he always had around girls. "Clary, I can't be just friends with you. The feelings I have, I admit I tried to stop them. But I can't. No matter what, it's always going to be you. I've never felt this way about someone, and I don't know if you feel the same, but I just have to put myself out there." He exhaled, his eyes widening as he waited for my response.

I opened my mouth, but was interrupted by Izzy appearing in the kitchen doorway, looking at us curiously. I couldn't tell how much of the conversation she overheard, but she winked at me as she walked in.

"Sorry, forgot to grab my phone. Thanks for lending me your phone charger." She handed it back to me, and eyed how close Jace was standing to me. He had taken his hand off my waist, but it did little to stop Izzy's imagination from going wild as she hugged us goodnight. "I want all the details tomorrow." She whispered in my ear before prancing away.

"Can we talk in your room?" I asked, half-expecting the whole group of them to suddenly appear in the kitchen. "I think Izzy's onto us."

Jace laughed, grabbing my hand and leading me towards the stairs. Once we were in his room, he shut the door and, after a pause, locked it. I pretended not to notice, sitting on the bed and looking around his immaculately cleaned room. I looked like a slob compared to him. I fidgeted as Jace sat on the bed next to me, his eyes full of questions as he waited for me to speak.

"I'm sorry, I suck at this." I sighed, trying to arrange my thoughts. "But I feel the same way, just so you know. I've been struggling with wanting more than just friendship, and seeing you with Kaelie hurt me in ways I didn't know you were capable of." I confessed, and he sighed, putting his arm around me but let me continue. "So that's my main fear. Our friendship means the world to me, you mean the world to me, Jace. But now that I know my feelings for you, I'm scared."

"Clary." He said, his voice insistent. I looked at his golden eyes, full of longing. "I don't know what I can do to fix that, but I'm going to try. There's no one else for me, honestly. Kaelie means nothing, like I said, it was in the moment and a distraction. Had we had this conversation before this semester, I wouldn't even have given her the time of day. She wanted the easiest kind of relationship for a guy; purely physical." I flinched at his words, trying not to picture him and Kaelie in this very bed.

"Also, I know what you're thinking. Kaelie has never been to my house, let alone in my room." He grinned, and I blushed at how easily he could read my face. I surrendered, relaxing as I considered his words. I trusted Jace, my best friend. I could trust Jace, my-

"Does this mean you're my boyfriend?" I grinned, as he rolled his eyes at my joking tone of voice. He ran a hand through his hair,

"Yes, Clary." He smiled, and I felt weak all over at the sight of it. He got up, walking over to his bathroom to get ready for bed. I followed, grabbing my toiletries from my overnight bag.

 _Jace_

I could barely think of anything else except for Clary. I watched as she brushed her teeth next to me, wrinkling her nose at me adorably when she caught me staring. When I was done, I walked out over to my bed, taking my shirt off but keeping my sweatpants on. Clary came out a few minutes later, turning the bathroom and main light in my room off. She was bathed in the dim light of the nightstand light, her hair glowing as she crawled in next to me.

I pulled her against my side, relishing in the face I could wrap my arms around her without any fear. She looked up at me, and I was nearly undone at the trusting expression on her face. Without hesitating, I pressed my lips against hers, intending on saying goodnight. Clary surprised me, deepening the kiss with a groan, pressing against me. I struggled to control myself, my body demanding her closer. I memorized the feel of her mouth with mine, craving her every touch. Her hands explored my body, driving me insane with desire.

Before I could register what she was doing, she rolled so she was on top of me, straddling my hips. I nearly lost it as she moved her body against mine, and my hands ran down her body without permission from my brain. Somewhere in the back of my mine, I knew I should slow things down, but every touch from Clary quieted it. Clary's lips left mine as she sat up, her hands going to the hem of the shirt she was wearing. In the absence of her touch, I was given a moment of clarity as I realized where this was going, and what she was planning.

"Clary, wait." I grabbed her hands, holding them in mine. She looked at me in confusion, her green eyes wide with inner panic. I knew her mind was going wild with me stopping her, but I couldn't let her do this.

"What? Don't you want me?" She asked, biting her lip. I sighed, I had to be very careful with how I worded this. The last thing I wanted to do was make her think I was rejecting her.

"I think that it's obvious I do."I gestured to the part of my body she was sitting on. "I can't lie about that. But I don't want you to do this just because you're worried I need physical things to be with you." She frowned, releasing the shirt and resting her hands on my abs. "Clary, I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you aren't ready for. You're special to me, I want your first time not to be as a reaction to things that have happened in the past."

She sighed, laying back down next to me. I pulled her close to my side, turning so that she was facing me. She rested her head on my shoulder, gazing up at me. "I feel like the roles are reversed here." She laughed, and I grinned, kissing her forehead.

"That was probably the hardest thing I've ever done." I groaned, and she giggled, rolling her eyes. "But I meant what I said, you know. Let's take things slow for a little, as long as we can stand it." I gritted my teeth as she hitched her leg over my hip. "Which if you keep that up, won't be long."

"That's the plan." She whispered, reaching over to turn the nightstand light off. The room went dark, and as my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she put her hand to my chest, squeezing the muscle there. "The only problem is, I can't sleep. I still want you." She emphasized, running her hand over my shoulders and arm. "Maybe we should sleep head to toe, if I'm being too much of a tease." I could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Yeah, right. There's a million reasons why that's not happening." I didn't even bother making up a joke about her feet, I had an idea. "But I can help you sleep." My hands moved to her waist, pausing at the waist of her leggings, waiting to see if she would stop me. She arched her hips towards me, and I took that as a sign to continue. Now it was my turn to explore her body.

 **A/N: I am so sorry for the delay; I was so busy with school. I won't wait that long again, don't worry. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, you guys are my motivation! Let me know what you think (:**


	10. Ten

_Jace_

"Clary, wake up." I whispered in her ear the next morning, grinning as she smiled and ignored me, burrowing herself deeper into the blankets and my chest. I ran the hand that wasn't trapped beneath her down the length of her body, enjoying the sensation of the feel of her curves and smooth skin under my hand. She mumbled, before lifting her head slightly to look up at me.

Her green eyes were sleepy, her red curls a halo around her face as she winced at the incoming sunlight from my window, and rolled away from me in an attempt to go back to sleep.

"Not so fast."I laughed, not about to let her out of my embrace. I pulled her closer, kissing her neck as she finally woke up, I could practically feel her pulse increase beneath my lips. She squirmed, turning around so she was facing me, her full lips inches from mine. She smiled, her face lighting up as she ran her hand down my arm.

"Was last night a dream?" She joked, but she still looked skeptical as she surveyed the position we were lying in. I rolled my eyes, pressing my lips to hers.

"Do you need a reminder?" I whispered, pulling her body flush against mine. Before Clary could react, a knock on the door startled both of us.

"Breakfast is ready!" I heard Izzy call from the other side, and I was thankful I had locked the door. The doorknob rattled, and she sighed, banging on the door again.

"Did you make it?" I called, winking at Clary as she pulled the blanket to her face to muffle her laughter. I could picture Izzy's scowl, and she responded with a bite to her voice.

"No, Jace. Magnus made it, so you're safe. But get down here now, before it's cold!" I listened to her footsteps walk away, and Clary sat up, yawning as she ran a hand through her curls.

"Well, I'll remind you later." I promised, as she laughed a threw a pillow at me before getting up and getting dressed.

"What are we going to tell everyone? I feel like they know." CLary fretted, as she braided her hair in the mirror. I pulled on my shirt, rolling my eyes at her as I ran a hand through my hair before giving up and leaving it disheveled.

"It'll be fine, they probably won't even notice." I answered, as she walked out of the bathroom. I took in the sight of her in her leggings and my shirt, and I had to physically restrain myself from carrying her back to bed. I pulled her close, enjoying the blush that crept to her cheeks as I gazed into her emerald green eyes. "Clary, I want to show you off to the world. You're mine, and I don't care what anyone says about it. Let them make their jokes, but they're our friends. They're going to be happy about it."

She nodded, shaking her head slightly as if to clear it. She looked back up at me, her eyes twinkling with laughter. "What?" I asked, not understanding the joke.

"Well, looks like our sleepovers at my house are coming to an end once my mom finds out. She's not going to settle for "I swear we are just friends" anymore."" She laughed at my facial expression, as I considered that unfortunate news.

"Well, looks like you're going to be staying at my house now." I kissed her without waiting for her response, reveling in the way her lips moved with mine, and how she pressed herself against me as if she wanted to be closer.

 _Clary_

"I knew it." Izzy announced, as Jace and I appeared in the kitchen. I could feel my face on fire, and Jace squeezed my hand reassuringly. Magnus, Alec, and Simon stared at our linked hands in confusion, before they all burst into cheers.

"Oh my god, you guys are so dramatic!" I laughed, as they continued cheering. Jace waved his hand as if they were a crowd of admirers, even bowing a little which made me elbow him in the ribs. "Jace, don't encourage them." I hissed, laughing in spite of how ridiculous they were acting.

"We're just so happy you guys finally realized it. Wow." Izzy said, running to hug me. I giggled as I hugged her back, the reality setting in that this was happening. Jace and I were together, and it was the best feeling in the entire world.

After a few more minutes of jokes at our expense, we settled in to eat the insane breakfast Magnus had cooked up, talking about plans for the day. Jace was in the middle of eating when his phone rang, and I noticed Jonathan's name flash across it before he grabbed it off the table. He excused himself, ruffling my hair as he got up to answer it.

I brought my plate to the sink, intending on cleaning up when Izzy intercepted me at the counter, sneaking up behind me and nearly giving me a heart attack.

"So did you and Jace seal the deal last night?" She whispered in my ear, and I sloshed dish water on my arms as I jumped. She handed me a towel, and I rubbed my hands as I avoided her inquisitive brown eyes.

"No, I mean- I'm not completely ready for that, and he knows it. I meant, trust me I want to but, you know." I babbled awkwardly, shooting a glance at the table. Alec, Magnus, and Simon were in a heated debate about pancakes vs. waffles, and Jace was still on the phone with Jonathan.

"I figured, I just needed to know." Izzy grinned, she always loved to know details about everything. She knew me almost as well as Jace did. I looked over at Jace, talking animatedly on the phone with Jonathan, and my heart squeezed. Izzy, a pro at reading my face, rubbed my arm in sympathy. "You know he'll do anything for you. He would quit that band if you asked him to."

I sighed, I couldn't tell her the real reason Jace was in that band. I knew he would, but I could never ask him, not when I really knew what he was struggling with. If being in the band could help him, I was just going to have to deal with Jonathan. Jace hung up the phone, looking excited as he came over to me.

"We just confirmed that gig I was telling you about, at that club downtown. But they bumped us up, it's tonight. They had a cancellation, and this is an even better turnout, a Saturday night will be crazy." He was so amped up, and his excitement was contagious. "Also, you're all coming."

"Yay!" Izzy clapped, and I could see her mentally putting an outfit together. I cringed at what she was doing to probably make me wear. Alec and Simon got up to congratulate Jace, and Magnus started clearing the table from breakfast. I looked out the window,there was a decent amount of snow from the storm but the roads were already being plowed.

Jace came up to me, and I plastered my best smile on my face. "I'm so happy for you, this is amazing." I hugged him, and he pressed his face to my hair, whispering so that only I could hear.

"Yeah, but it has nothing compared to how amazing I feel with you."

A few hours later, I was being treated to an Isabelle Lightwood Makeover, and she was having the time of her life. I was having flashbacks to Magnus' party as I sat in her vanity chair, while she danced around me wielding weapons of liquid eyeliner and eyeshadow. I cringed as her hand came precariously close to poking me in the eye with her makeup brush, but she didn't flinch as she continued to expertly coat my eyelids with shades of gold.

She was strangely quiet throughout the ordeal, humming along to the music playing from her laptop. I had a feeling she was dying to discuss all the details of Jace and I, but she was at least trying to give me a little privacy in it. Surprisingly, I found myself wanting to discuss every aspect of it with her. I was so used to having to swallow the pain of seeing Jace with other girls I hadn't had time to really have a crush on anyone else, I was so accustomed to listening to Izzy and her escapades with guys.

"So, you're being quiet."I teased, and she paused to admire her handiwork before setting down the makeup palette and eyeing me curiously.

"I know, but I figured the best way to get you to talk was to just let you think and then tell me. Bombarding you with questions never works." She laughed, spinning me around to face the mirror. I was momentarily distracted by how good of a job she had done with the makeup, just like last time, my green eyes were framed by thick lashes and enhanced by the eyeshadow and liner.

"Izzy, you know you can ask me anything." I said, guilt creeping towards me with how much I was keeping from her, particularly about Jace's real reason for staying in the band. I knew she had given him a hard time for staying in, but I had promised Jace I wouldn't say anything to anyone.

She smiled, touching up her face makeup in the mirror. "Oh I know, but I don't know. You've never really been one to gush over guys, I've never even heard you talk about having a crush on anyone."

I shrugged, unable to provide an answer for her. I had grown up with Jace by my side, he was the one thing that remained constant with all the family drama. I had little crushes here and there, but they never remained important enough to mention to anyone.

"Anyway, enough about that. Tell me some dirty details." She laughed at my shocked facial expression. "Aw come on, this is the fun part!" She pleaded, as I got up from my chair and inspected her closet, hoping to find something that didn't leave me entirely exposed.

"Honestly, we didn't have sex." I insisted, my face burning as I stared into the abyss of her closet. I didn't even know where to start finding clothes, Isabelle had her own special way of organizing her wardrobe that I had yet to find any rhyme or reason to.

I was saved from a knock on the door, and Izzy danced over to it, flinging it open to find Alec standing there, looking disgruntled. He was wearing a shirt without holes in the sleeves, so Magnus must have dressed him.

"Magnus is picking us up soon, and Simon's downstairs. Jace apparently had our names put on a list, so we can get in right away." He reported, and Izzy clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Perfect. What's Simon wearing? I hope he wore what I told him to. We'll be down in a second, I just have to get this one-" She tilted her head towards me, standing by the closet in my leggings and t-shirt. "Properly dressed." She grinned as Alec rolled his eyes, shutting the door behind him.

When we arrived at the club, the line was already a good 20 people deep. Izzy took the lead, her and Magnus talking to the bouncer as Alec, Simon, and I hung back, neither us a fan of crowds of people. The bouncer waved a through, and I caught a few dirty looks from the people on line as I followed them inside.

Once inside, the music from the DJ was infectious. Everywhere I looked, people were drinking and dancing, and the lights were flashing to the beat of the music. Izzy sidled up to the bar, flashing the bartender a smile as she acquired drinks for us, even though we were underage.

Alec and Magnus came over, Magnus sipping a cocktail as Alec held a beer, and we proceeded to look around for Jace or the rest of the band members. "I think they're going on at 9:45, so we have some time." Alec said, checking his phone. "Oh, Jace just texted me to meet him back by the stage."

We made our way through the crowd, Izzy and I had to pull away from a number of hands grabbing us to dance. Annoyed, I detached a guys hand from my wrist as we reached the stage. Jace was helping set up, the spotlight illuminating his golden hair. His expression was unreadable as he stared at me, before hopping down from the stage to meet us.

"This place is packed." Izzy remarked, as I struggled to hear everyone over the loud music. Jace reached for me, pulling me away and towards the hallway backstage. I nearly tripped over a guitar case trying to keep up, until he stopped, turning to look at me.

"Jace what-" I opened my mouth to ask him, but my question was lost to me as he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me such passion I felt dizzy. His hands were gripping my waist, and I tangled mine in his hair. I kissed him back feverishly, trying not to drop my drink all over us. When we came up for air, his eyes were still hungry for more. "I'm not complaining, but what was that for?" I joked, my heart fluttering in my chest.

He grinned, looking slightly abashed as he nodded his head towards the crowd of people on the dance floor. "Sorry, I was watching you come over here, and I kind of lost it at how many guys were grabbing at you. It drove me a little crazy. You look incredible." His eyes moved down my body, and I was suddenly grateful for Izzy's makeover. She had dressed me in tight dark jeans, thigh high black suede boots with a slight heel, a purple tank low cut tank top and a short leather jacket. I grinned, running my hand over his muscular arms.

"You don't look too bad either." I answered, just as entranced by the way his tight black t-shirt fit him, and with his dark jeans and boots, it was impossible not to stare at him. He leaned closer, and I was all too eager to continue kissing him when a voice interrupted us, and I clenched my jaw automatically as I recognized it.

"Jace, we have to finish setting up. I'm sure you can find another girl later." Jonathan called, having entered the hallway to go into the dressing room. His facial expression was smug as he watched me carefully for a reaction. Gritting my teeth, I looked back up at Jace.

"I better go find Izzy and the others. Good luck, you're going to do great." I kissed him quickly, before turning to walk past Jonathan. I refused to look at him, but I swore I heard him laughing behind me.

 **A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! It truly makes my day reading all you guys' thoughts. Let me know what you think of this one!**


	11. Eleven

**Clary**

As much as I hated to admit it, Jonathan's band was pretty amazing. The crowd loved them, their music was exhilarating and fun to dance to, and their stage presence was immense, I could tell they already has a good following of fans. I loved watching Jace as he played guitar and switched off with Jonathan on lead singer. I vaguely remember Jace telling him he might replace Jonathan as the lead, and I hoped he did.

"Wow, they're awesome." Izzy said in my ear, as the band finished their last song. I clapped and cheered along with Izzy, Magnus, Alec, and Simon and the rest of the crowd, enjoying how Jace's face lit up with happiness. I was so grateful we had talked about his involvement in the band, now that I could see how happy it made him and how much he needed it made it easier to deal with Jonathan's presence and attitude.

"That was insane." I agreed, once the applause died down and we could talk again. They guys waved as they walked off stage, and started packing up their instruments so the next entertainment would be ready to come on. The DJ started the music back up again, and people started flocking to the dance floor.

"Hey, do you have any chapstick?" Izzy asked, rubbing her lips with her hand. "My lips are burning from this cold weather." I nodded, setting my half-empty drink down on the table next to me, fishing around my back until I found it. As I gave it to her, I felt someone tap my shoulder from behind. Expecting to see Jace, I turned around with a huge smile on my face only to be startled to find Sebastian standing there, grinning at me.

"Oh-hi." I said, flustered as I recovered, trying to figure out why he was here. I hadn't spoken to him since our awkward conversation at Magnus' party the semester before, and I had no idea he even lived close enough to come to this bar on break from school. "How are you?" I asked, picking up my drink from the table.

"Oh, I'm good. I was just in the area and decided to stop by, I've heard this is a fun place." He said, looking around the crowded, loud room. I nodded, unable to come up with a response. I sipped my drink, desperately hoping Izzy would come to my rescue. Sebastian looked at me, his eyes wandering down my body. When Jace admired me, I felt beautiful, and confident. Sebastian's scrutiny made me wish I was wearing a giant coat.

"That's nice. I've never been here before; I came for Jace's band." I answered, trying to resist the urge to zip up my leather jacket. Sebastian nodded, his eyes thoughtful as if he had forgotten Jace existed. I gulped my drink down, suddenly feeling very warm in the crowded bar. The cold drink helped, but I didn't want to drink too much tonight.

"I think you mean my band." To my dismay, Jonathan appeared, looking strangely happy as he sidled up next to us. I was starting to feel a little dizzy, and Jonathan's presence wasn't helping. "But I'm glad you enjoyed the show." He grinned, and I rolled my eyes. The last thing he needed was an ego boost.

"I'm sorry, I better find Jace to congratulate him. It was nice to see you." I said to Sebastian, I was really starting to feel way too hot and the room was beginning to spin. I watched as Sebastian and Jonathan exchanged looks, but it was so brief I was sure I imagined it. I looked around for Izzy, but couldn't see her through the thick crowd. I spotted a side door on the wall, and made my way towards it without another word to Jonathan and Sebastian.

I pushed through a side door, gasping for fresh air as I nearly tumbled outside into the alleyway on the side of the bar. I leaned against the brick building, tilting my head back as I scrambled to figure out what was wrong with me. I had to concentrate very hard to keep everything from spinning, and I was so tired all I wanted to do was close my eyes, just for a few minutes...

"Clary, are you alright?" A voice said, and I opened one eye to see Sebastian walking towards me, his voice laced with concern. I flinched away as he reached for my face, his hands were very cold as he traced my cheekbone with his fingertips.

"I'm fine, I just need to be alone right now." I mumbled, lurching forward off the wall as I tried to move away from him. My body felt as if I were moving in slow motion. I needed go back inside for a second, and then come back out when he was gone. His fingers wrapped around my forearm in a grip so tight it surprised me, tugging me back from the door.

"Don't go inside yet, we've barely gotten to talk to each other tonight." He insisted, his voice low. His eyes were such a dark brown, nearly black in the dim outdoor light above the door. I cringed, he was so close to me I could smell the overwhelming smell of his cologne.

"We should talk." He whispered in my ear, brushing my hair off my neck. I shuddered, working up a scream as his lips brushed my cheek. I heard the door open, but adrenaline was already rushing through my body. I put my hands against Sebastian's chest, and shoved back, pushing him off me. My movement surprised him, and he released me, stepping backward in shock. My moment of victory was brief as I realized I was falling; my legs were too weak to hold me. I winced as I waited to hit the ground, but strong arms caught me, holding me up.

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice shouted at Sebastian, and he looked at me with true fear. I tilted my head up, squinting in the light. Jace was there, his hair golden in the light. He had opened the door just in time to see me push Sebastian off of me. He was livid, his face hard as he gently placed me on the ground before grabbing Sebastian.

"Jace!" I called out, but I doubt he heard me. I looked on in horror as they struggled, Sebastian was trying to escape but Jace was having none of it. He easily dodged Sebastian's swinging fist, connecting his fist to Sebastian's jaw in one swift movement. Jace slammed Sebastian up against the wall of the building, his forearm pressed against his neck.

"If you ever go near her again, you'll regret it. I'll do a lot more than punch you in the face, you piece of shit." He threatened, his voice low and angry. "I won't forget this." Sebastian nodded, his eyes wide as Jace released him, and he went running down the alley towards the parking lot. Jace turned back to me, the anger replaced with concern as he knelt next to me, scooping me up into his arms easily. I laid my head against his shoulder, my heart hammering against my ribcage.

"It's okay, I'm here." Jace said, stroking my hair. I nodded, not trusting myself to open my mouth, fearing I would throw up all over him. Izzy, Magnus, Simon, and Alec suddenly appeared out the door, causing a commotion as they rushed over, questions flying a mile a minute. I closed my eyes, my head hurting from all the noise.

 **Jace**

"Are you sure we shouldn't bring her to the hospital?" Simon asked, pacing back and forth in my living room as Clary lay on the couch, fast asleep. She had passed out once everyone came outside from the bar, and I had brought her back to my house. Izzy had tried convincing me to bring her home, but I wasn't letting her out of my sight after what happened tonight.

"If she was drugged, it should wear off soon. She has to sleep it off, it's meant to make you pass out." Magnus said, placing a water bottle on the table next to Clary. "She should drink water whenever she wakes up, it will help flush it out of her system." Simon didn't look convinced, but didn't argue.

I looked down at Clary, her face peaceful and innocent as she slept. I brushed a wayward curl off her face, anger flaring through me when I thought about Sebastian. I had never hated someone so much, I wished I had done more damage than just a punch to the face. In a fit of rage like that, I could have hurt him worse, but it was Clary that stopped me. I didn't want her to see me like that, she was already probably terrified of one guy, I didn't need to make her afraid of me too.

Izzy returned to the room, she had texted Jocelyn from Clary's phone to tell her she was sleeping at Izzy's house tonight. In reality, she was going to be with me, but we still hadn't told her Clary and I were dating. I didn't want Clary to get in trouble for sleeping over my house if Jocelyn didn't approve of our sleepovers anymore.

"I just can't believe this happened." Izzy murmured, looking at Clary's sleeping form on the couch. I nodded, unable to find the words to express how angry I was at Sebastian. "I don't understand why he did it though, he didn't seem to be this interested in Clary that he would drug her." Izzy started pacing back and forth, her expression concerned.

"We should let Clary sleep. She's going to be out for the night, and it's getting late. Do you need help getting her upstairs?" Alec asked, but I shook my head no.

"Thanks, but we'll be fine. When she wakes up, I'll tell you guys if she remembers anything significant."

The next morning, Clary was awake and sitting at the kitchen counter when I woke up at 8 am. She was nursing a cup of coffee, and looked miserable. She glanced up when I walked in, yawning from staying up late worried about her.

"Hey." She said softly, and I smiled, squeezing her hand as I stood at the counter facing her. She traced the rim of her mug with her index finger, seemingly lost in thought. I took a sip of coffee, waiting for her to talk. She cleared her throat, looking up at me. "Thanks for uh, taking care of Sebastian last night." She said, and I scowled at the thought of him.

"He deserved a lot more than what I did to him." I grumbled, but she shook her head, running a hand through her curls.

"I don't even know what to think about him. It just seemed so off, he was a little awkward, but it's hard to imagine he would go as far as drugging me." She looked at me curiously. "How did you know I was outside? I couldn't find anyone when I started feeling weird."

I bit my lip, thinking back through the night. "I was looking for you, and... Jonathan told me that he saw you go outside with Sebastian. I don't know, it seemed kind of weird to me the way he was saying it, like he thought you guys were hooking up or something."

Her eyes flashed with anger, before she nodded, still puzzling over the chain of events. Before I could say anything else, my phone started ringing, Jonathan's name flashing on the screen. I muted it, but she waved her hand. "Answer it, he's just going to keep calling. It could be something important about the band."

Feeling as if I were failing some sort of test, I accepted the call, not moving from my position at the counter. "Hello?"

"Jace, band meeting in a half hour. The money came in from the show last night, and we have to talk about possible gigs. We're meeting at Jordan's house." Jordan was the drummer in the band, and he lived about a half hour from me.

"Jonathan, I don't know if I can make it. Clary had a rough night..." I trailed off as Clary shook her head, picking up her bag that was packed with her clothes from the night before.

"Jace, come on. This band is more important than your fling with Clarissa. I'll see you there." He hung up, leaving me staring at my phone dumbly.

"I should be getting home anyway; I've barely seen my mom these last few days." Clary said, hopping off the stool she was sitting on. She was wearing some of the clothes she's left here before, which would make her mom less suspicious than if she came home in her outfit from the night before. "I know that band meeting is important, you need that money." She insisted, when she saw me hesitate.

"Alright, but we're not done talking about this." I warned, pulling her close to me and wrapping my arms around her small frame. She sighed, pulling back to look up at me. She smiled genuinely for the first time all morning, reaching up to kiss me. She probably meant it to be a quick kiss, but she was so addicting I couldn't pull away. She gasped as I pulled her tight against me, my lips moving with hers as I ran my hands down her body. I lifted her up on the counter, giving me easier access to her neck as her hands tangled in my hair.

I would have gone on kissing her forever, but she pulled away after few burning minutes, her cheeks flushed as she giggled and looked at the clock on the wall.

"Shit, you're going to be late, let's go." She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck as I lifted her off the counter, planting her back on the floor. She grabbed her bag and led the way, as I followed reluctantly behind her to the door.

 **A/N: Thank you for all of your amazing reviews! My spring break is coming up, so I am planning on updating more often since I'll have a break from this insane semester. I truly love to hear what you guys think!**


	12. Twelve

_Clary_

To no one's surprise, my mom was ecstatic that Jace and I had finally starting dating. She did ban our sleepovers, but I had already expected that. She didn't forbid me from sleeping at his house, at least.

The next week flew by, Jace was preparing for another band gig that Jonathan had promised a potential record label executive would be at, so they were going into overdrive with the practices. Christmas was coming up, and the end of winter break was nearing. I threw myself into helping my mom decorate the house for our annual Christmas party, and Magnus was helping plan it this year.

"Clary, look what I found." My mom pulled out an ornament from a box, which contained a picture of Jace and I from about 3rd grade. "Look how adorable you two were."

Little Jace with his halo of blonde hair framing his face, looked like a baby angel. My curls were bright red, sticking up all over the place and I had finger paint on my face. "Mom, don't you dare put that up. Jace cannot see that." I shuddered to think of the amount of jokes he could make at my expense.

She rolled her eyes, slipping it into her sweatshirt pocket when she thought I wasn't looking. I was going to have to keep an eye out for it on the tree before anyone saw it. We continued putting up the ornaments on the tree, pausing every now and then to reminisce over a few of them. We were nearly done when her phone rang, my dad's name flashing on the screen.

"Hello?" My mom answered, brushing a dark red curl out of her eyes. She left me to finish the tree as she grabbed a box of decorations to bring into the kitchen. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she didn't sound happy.

She returned a few minutes later, concern lacing her features. "That was your father. He seems to be under the impression that you were drugged last time you went out to see the band play." I could tell she was unable to decide between being concerned or angry that I hadn't told her. I groaned, Jonathan had definitely been the one behind this.

"Mom, it was no big deal. I just felt a little sick, nothing bad happened." I insisted, but she shook her head, holding her hand up to stop me. She was definitely angry now.

"Clary, I can't believe you didn't tell me. You didn't even come home that night! How did your father know before I did?" She asked, slamming the lid on an empty box to bring back down to the basement. I cursed Jonathan in my head, he was slowly trying to ruin my life.

"There was nothing to tell! I felt a little sick, so we left after the show. Jonathan's making this whole thing up, you have to believe me." I felt horrible lying to her, but there wasn't any other way. She always had a soft spot for Jonathan, she never got over the fact he only really bonded with Valentine.

"I don't know Clary. I just don't know what to do with you right now. I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to their shows anymore." She ran a hand through her hair. I recoiled at the injustice of the whole situation.

I dropped the ornament I was holding in the box. I was done trying to convince her. I had my suspicions about Jonathan being the one to convince Sebastian to slip something in my drink, as he conveniently sent Jace out to find us. Factor in that he seemed to imply to Jace that we were hooking up outside, and he had to be the one to let it slip to Valentine. I had made Jace promise not to say anything about me being drugged to Jonathan, so the only way he could know was if he had been in on it.

"Whatever. Believe Jonathan then, I don't care." I snapped, running upstairs to my room and slamming my door. I locked it behind me, I could hear her calling after me, but she didn't come upstairs. I knew I was reacting childishly, but I couldn't help it. I sat on my bed, my heart pounding as I thought about Jonathan.

He was smart, I had to give him that. He hadn't gotten what he wanted, driving a wedge between Jace and I by making it look like I was cheating on him. As soon as Valentine called my mom, he had to know I would figure out he told our dad. He probably knew I would deny being drugged, so I couldn't blame him for doing it once I figured it all out. I wanted to scream, I was so frustrated. Not being able to go to and support Jace would ruin the only good feelings I had about the band.

My phone started buzzing, Jace was calling me. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down as I answered.

"Hey, what are you up to?" Jace asked, I could hear a keyboard being played in the background, voices. He was still at band practice, and I fought to keep my voice from shaking with anger as I thought about Jonathan.

"Nothing, I just finished decorating the tree." I said, getting up and starting to pace around my room. My walls were decorated with various art pieces I had done over the years, Jace had picked out his favorites and insisted we hang them up.

"Oh-man I'm sorry, I know we do that together every year. I completely forgot." Jace apologized, his tone regretful. "Want me to come over now and help finish decorating?"

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. It was true, Jace did come over every year to decorate the tree with my mom and I, since his dad was never really a fan of the holidays. I had mentioned it to him last week, but with the band practicing so much I knew he had forgotten.

"N-no, it's fine. We're done." I took a deep breath, feeling myself start to lose it. "My mom found out about what happened at the gig last week, and flipped out about me not telling her. She doesn't think it's a good idea for me to go to them anymore. She's mad I didn't tell her and worried it'll happen again." I heard him suck in a breath at my words, and the music in the background getting louder.

"Clary, I'm so sorry. I'm coming over, you sound upset. Are you okay?" I heard Jonathan calling him to get off the phone. I sighed, not even bothering to answer him. Their next show was in 2 days, there was no way he was going to get out of band practice.

"I know you have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I didn't wait for his answer before hanging up. I felt guilty about hanging up on him, but another reminder of how Jonathan was taking everything good in my life away from me wasn't helping.

A knock on my door startled me, I had a fleeting hope it was Jace before I realized he couldn't possibly have gotten here that fast. Grumbling to myself, I threw it open to find my mom, dressed up with her arms crossed, and overnight bag at her feet. I mimicked her body language, feeling like a bratty teeanger about to be grounded.

"Luke called, he's surprised me with dinner and we're staying overnight at a hotel. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" She asked, emphasizing "yourself." I rolled my eyes, half of me wishing I could throw a party in her absence just to really play the part of an angsty teenager.

"I'll be fine, have fun. Tell Luke I said hi." I smiled sweetly, but she knew I was full of it. She narrowed her eyes, and I stepped back, slightly scared.

"We're not done discussing that whole situation with your brother and the band, just so you know." Her face softened as she saw my expression, something in it must have hinted to her how upset I was. "Honey, I'm not mad at you. I just want you to be safe."

 _Jace_

"Damnit." I snapped, as Clary hung up the phone. I turned to find Jonathan standing behind me, looking annoyed. His green eyes were narrowed as he gestured to the practice setup of instruments, where the rest of the band were posted.

"Care to join us? My sister's always carrying on about something, don't worry about her." He handed me my guitar. "Worry about the extremely important show we have in 2 days." I stared at him shaking my head as I followed him to the rest of the group. I had learned early on it was useless to argue with Jonathan about Clary. We took our positions, waiting for Jonathan's signal to begin.

"Alright, let's start at the top of the set list. After this, we're done for the night." He ordered, and I listened to the drums count me in before losing myself in the music, as if I were trying to convince myself I had every reason to be here, and not with Clary.

We played for another hour, before Jonathan was satisfied. I heard grumblings from Jordan about how brutal the practices were, but I kept my mouth shut as I thought about the money I had earned from the last gig. If this show was even more important, I had to keep focused. Jonathan might not be the easiest person to get along with, but he was pretty good at running the band and keeping it together.

When I arrived at Clary's house, I realized my phone died and I couldn't text her to let her know I was here. I knocked on the door, looking up to see her bedroom light on. It wasn't late, only 9 pm. When there was no answer, I opened it, knowing she was home. As I stepped inside, I nearly had a heart attack as something small hurled into me with a battle cry-like sound, landing on the floor with a thud. I flicked the hallway light on to see Clary looking up with me, a kitchen knife in her hand. Her expression of complete bewilderment had me in a fit of laughter, as she realized it was me.

"Were you going to stab me with that?" I asked mildly, holding my hand out to help her up. She glowered, but ended up laughing along with me as she slapped my arm.

"I didn't know you were coming over! My mom left for the night with Luke, I thought I was getting robbed." She giggled, walking into the kitchen to put her weapon back. "I didn't mean to crash into you, I couldn't see anything in the dark and I had no idea you were inside. Also, I can't tell if it hurt more to crash into you or hit the floor."

I grinned, smirking at her walked into the living room. "That's what I train in the gym for. If I get attacked, the person will just bruise themselves crashing into me." She rolled her eyes, sitting next to me on the couch. I pulled her close, her legs dangling over mine as she fit perfectly against my side.

"What are you doing here?" She asked innocently, but I called her bluff. She had tried hiding how upset she was on the phone, but I wasn't buying it.

"I know you're upset about what happened today with your mom." I pointed out the obvious, and she bit her lip, nodding in response. She launched into a well-thought out vent about her mom, Sebastian, and mostly Jonathan. I listened, nodding my head and stroking her soft hair as she talked. When she was done, she looked at me.

"I feel a lot better, sorry I ranted for so long." She laughed softly, and I grinned, squeezing her hand. "But I still don't know what to do."

"Clary, I don't know why Jonathan would care so much to go through this much effort to try and break us up. Do you think Sebastian could have actually done this on his own?" I saw her eyes tighten, and I rushed to get the words out before she could speak. "I'm not defending him, please don't think that. I am only trying to help. He's so focused on the band, he hasn't said anything about you and I that would make me suspicious."

She nodded, but I could tell she was struggling to believe her brother wasn't the mastermind behind the whole situation. "It's just a thought. I don't want to tell you how to feel, or what to think about Jonathan. You're under a lot of stress, I wish I could do something to help." I said, hating how sad she looked.

She looked up at me through her long eyelashes, studying my face. She smiled, reaching up to kiss me. Her lips against mine made my heart pound faster, especially when she deepened the kiss, moving her body so she was straddling me. This new position made my brain go haywire, I couldn't think of anything else except for the feel of her body against mine. I ran my hands down her sides, and hers were running through my hair.

I nearly lost my mind when she grinded her hips against mine, and my body was responding to her touch. I gripped her tighter, each movement made me want her even closer to me. She startled me by pulling back, and I struggled to not look disappointed as I looked up at her. However, she surprised me by dropping her hands to her shirt, hesitating for a moment before she took it off in one fluid motion, dropping it on the couch next to us.

My eyes took in her body, her smooth warm skin, the curve of her collarbones, her breasts pushed against her lace bra. She leaned forward, pressing her mouth against mine with a sense of urgency. We were no longer casually making out, both of us were pulling at the other, I started kissing down her neck, my hands memorizing her body. She tugged at my shirt, and I sat up to let her pull it off me. Her eyes lit up as she took in my shirtless body, her hands burning where she touched as she traced my muscles. Her eyes were dark with desire, but I didn't want to push her too far.

She leaned forward, grabbing our clothes from beside me. "Let's go upstairs." Her voice was low in my ear, and she neatly climbed off of me as I got to my feet, hoping I didn't look to eager. She grinned, grabbing my hand and leading me to the stairs.

 _Clary_

The door slammed behind me as Jace pushed me against it with a new energy I hadn't seen from him. His tongue traced my bottom lip, and I let him in, heat flashing through me as we kissed each other as if this was the last time we ever would. His hands ran down the length of my body, squeezing my hips as he lifted me up so my legs wrapped around his hips. I tangled my hands in his hair, I just wanted to be closer.

He turned, still holding me as he moved towards the bed. I kept kissing him, not making it easy for him to navigate my slightly messy floor. He leaned forward, finding his target as my back landed on the mattress and he was hovering over me, the muscles on his arms standing out like cords. I still had my legs wrapped around him, and I tried working his sweatpants off his hips blindly with my hands. He paused, lifting himself to look at me. I knew he wasn't sure where we were going this, but I was. I wanted him, I needed him.

"Jace." I whispered, and his golden eyes were wide in the light from my bedside lamp. "I want this, I want you." I insisted, and the words were barely out of my mouth before his mouth was on mine again. He pulled me up so I was sitting, his arms going around me and within seconds my bra was unhooked, falling off my shoulders. I felt a flash of self-consciousness, no guy had ever seen me naked. Jace was looking at me as if he couldn't believe I was real. I let my bra slip off, tossing it on the floor, where the rest of our clothes ended up moments later.

He insisted on making sure I was ready, and by the time he took his fingers away I wanted him even more than before, if that were possible. Laying down, his body left mine for a moment, and I heard the crinkling of foil before he was back, hovering over me. He gazed down at me, tracing my cheek with his index finger. "You need to tell me if it hurts, and I'll stop. It might a bit at first." He warned, and I nodded. I had heard enough stories from Isabelle to get the gist of it, but I wasn't afraid.

Jace leaned down to kiss me, and then I felt him inside me. I heard myself moan, embarrassed at first but it only made Jace more turned on. I could tell he was trying to be gentle, holding himself back as I flinched a little, but the pain left as quickly as it came. My legs wrapped around his hips automatically, and I felt him move deeper inside me. He groaned, nearly vibrating with pleasure as we dove back into the driving need for each other, grabbing and kissing, every movement bringing us closer to the edge. I felt addicted to the feel of his skin against mine, and soon the room could have burst into flames and I wouldn't have noticed. My skin was burning where he touched, and I welcomed it.

When my back arched at the final moment, I buried my face in his chest as the heat overcame me, sending me spiraling into a trance of pure bliss..Jace followed shortly after, whispering my name as he kissed down my neck. When it was over, I couldn't stop smiling as he gently rolled off me of me, discarding the condom quickly before coming back to me. His eyes lit up as he pulled me close, grabbing the comforter and pulling it over us.

"Wow." I whispered, feeling lightheaded. He laughed softly, with my head on his chest I could feel it. I couldn't describe the level of happiness I felt, it was an entirely different thing after what happened between us.

"I agree." He mumbled, kissing my hair. "Did I hurt you?" He asked, moving so that we were facing each other. He brushed a lock of hair out of my face, and I shook my head.

"No, it was perfect. You were perfect."

 **A/N: Well that happened.. hahha anyway thank you for all the amazing reviews! You guys make me so happy, let me know how you liked it!**


	13. Thirteen

No POV

Jonathan Morgenstern did not like to be kept waiting, especially when he didn't want to be doing something in the first place. He impatiently tapped his fingers against the drink he was nursing at the Hunter's Moon, a dive bar where Sebastian Verlac had requested to meet him.

"Sorry I'm late." Sebastian arrived, pushing his black hair out of his eyes. Sebastian was slightly frightened of Jonathan, but he had arraigned the meet to try and put an end to Jonathan's outrageous plans that he couldn't with good conscience be a part of. He had been roped in by the sum of money Jonathan was willing to pay to flirt with his sister, but the other night's event at the gig was too much. He had been into Clary around the time of Magnus' party, but he wasn't looking for anything serious and he never got around to seeing her over break before she and Jace got together.

"Well you're here, so let's get this over with. What do you want?" Jonathan drawled, eyeing the bruise Jace had left on Sebastian's face. He felt slightly guilty about that, he hadn't predicted Jace would resort to violence so quickly. He signaled for the bartender to bring another drink for Sebastian.

"Jonathan, I don't exactly know what your whole diabolical plan is for your sister and Jace, but I can't be a part of it. I didn't know that drug was going to have that effect on Clary, you told me it was cold medicine. And I certainly didn't want to be beaten up. This has gone too far." Sebastian said in one breath, watching Jonathan's face carefully. His dark green eyes tightened, and he ran a hand through his white blonde hair as he considered Sebastian's words.

"I can't expect you to understand. All I needed from you was to plant the seed of doubt in Jace's mind, that Clary could be cheating on him. Yes, the drug may have been a tad overboard, I'll admit." He mulled, taking a sip of his drink. "But Clarissa and Jace are a hazard for my band. She's only going to distract him from what is truly important. My band is going to make it far, and I have everything I need to accomplish that."

Sebastian blinked, picking up his drink and considering Jonathan's answer. It seemed bizarre to him, the strange relationship Jonathan had with his sister. He had witnessed the way Jace and Clary looked at each other, and it seemed cruel to try and break them up now that he had seen them together for himself.

"I can see you are wondering about my relationship with Clarissa." Jonathan continued, reading Sebastian's face as easily as if he had asked the questions out loud. "It's not something I can easily express. We were brought up apart, with extremely different parenting styles. I was raised to go after what I want, no matter what to succeed. I've worked hard for this band to be at the level it is, and I took a risk letting Jace in. My mother did not raise Clarissa to be able to reach her full potential, she's studying art for God's sake." Jonathan could feel himself getting angry, and struggled to contain it. "I'm hard on her, but for her own sake."

Sebastian shook his head slowly, unable to sympathize with Jonathan. "You're trying to control them. I'm going to apologize to her." He stated, raising his chin and looking Jonathan in the eyes. He saw a flash of anger in Jonathan's eyes, and quickly added. "I'm not going to tell her anything else. This is none of my business, but I don't want her to be terrified if she sees me again."

To his surprise, Jonathan did not protest. He simply offered a smile glittering with malice, shrugging as he finished his drink as he stood up. He tossed cash on the bar, grabbing his coat before answering.

"Do what you want. I'm sure she already blames me for the entire thing anyway. My goal is to keep Jace, he has talent that impresses me. I don't care if Clarissa thinks she's in love with him, it won't last."

Clary

"My little Clary is all grown up." Izzy sighed as she draped herself on my bedroom chair, grinning at as I rolled my eyes and continued getting dressed for the Christmas party I was hosting tonight. I had finally told her about Jace and I having sex, and she still wasn't over it.

"Izzy, you've got to give it a rest." I laughed, pulling on a deep burgundy blouse and pairing it with black leggings and tall black boots. She rolled her eyes, fiddling with the makeup on my vanity.

"I'm just so happy for you two." She insisted, inspecting her eyeshadow in the mirror. "I feel like I've been waiting for this moment forever."

"You're so dramatic." I teased, as I gave myself a onceover in the mirror. My hair was a little out of control, as usual, but Izzy had done a great job with my eye makeup. I checked the time, noticing that it was getting late. "Come on, we're late." I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the door. "How's everything going with Simon?"

Her face instantly changed, her expression dreamy. "Perfect. I can't get over it. All this time I've been so afraid of relationships, but this is actually going really well. He's amazing." She gushed, as we made our way downstairs.

Simon was waiting at the stairs, his face beaming as he look at Isabelle before turning to greet me. I hugged him quickly before making my way to the kitchen, where my mom was with Luke cooking and frantically trying to finish setting everything up.

"There you are, can you run to the store and grab sprinkles? I ran out, and these cookies need to be decorated with something." She asked, handing me her wallet.

I was browsing the sprinkles in the baking aisle when a voice behind me calling out my name caused me to jump, and I nearly dropped the container when I turned to see Sebastian standing there, looking sheepish. I felt an initial surge of panic as I realized I was alone with him, but he started talking before I could make a run for it.

"Clary, about the other night. It's not what you think- I feel horrible about what happened." He began, running a hand through his dark hair nervously. "I got mixed up in some things with your brother, but I didn't know it would go that far. I just wanted you to know." He gave me a half-hearted smile, as if he expected me to run away screaming.

"Honestly, it's alright." I sighed, glowering at the sprinkles in my hand. "I had a feeling he was involved; my brother and I don't have the best relationship." I bit my lip, trying to squelch the anger I could feel burning inside of me at the thought of what my brother had done.

"Yeah, he's a strange guy." Sebastian had a weird look on his face, but he smoothed it over as he smiled at me. "Anyway, friends? Or at least promise your boyfriend won't beat me up again?" He offered, laughing as I groaned, walking with him to the register.

"I'm sorry about that, I would have tried to stop him but if I could. He's just a little protective. All my friends are." I added, thinking of how angry they were at Sebastian and guilt flooded through me.

"I'm sure I'll see them around, and I will explain everything." He promised, and I waited as the cashier rang us up.

"Hey, why not now? I'm having a Christmas party at my house, and they'll all be there. You can explain everything, and have some fun. It's the least I can do after Jace punched you." I gestured to the slight bruising around his eye.

He hesitated, but eventually agreed. I gave him my address, and he promised to stop by.

 **I honestly feel horrible about how long it's been since I've updated, I don't even know what to say. In between finals, school ending, and hitting a wall in creativity, I've constantly thought about this story but couldn't' find the motivation to write anything. I'm going to try my hardest to keep updating now, I have a lot more time to write since the semester is over. Thank you for everyone who's still interested in this story!**


	14. Fourteen

Clary

The minute Sebastian arrived, the room went silent. I had beaten him to the punch and told everyone his story as soon as I got home, but they still looked shocked as I took his coat and introduced him to my mom and Luke. Thankfully, Simon recovered enough to strike up a conversation in the kitchen over food as Izzy and Alec eyed him warily. Magnus just looked entertained.

"Clary, can I talk to you?" Jace's hand was on my elbow, walking with me to the spare bedroom where I was stashing everyone's coats. He shut the door behind us, looking conflicted. "Why is he here?"

"He explained everything, I told you. I just want this all to be over." I insisted, tossing the coat on the bed. Jace ran a hand through his hair, pacing. "He's harmless. My brother is the one to blame. You're more than welcome to punch him in the face if you feel so inclined." I crossed my arms, starting to feel angry.

Jace gave me a withering look, his eyes flashing. "Trust me, I want to." His gaze softened, and he walked over to me where I stood. His placed his hands on my shoulders, and I unfroze at his touch. "Clary, I'm quitting the band. I can't let this go on any longer. Jonathan has taken this whole thing way to far. " His golden eyes darkened. I stared at him, mouth agape.

"Jace, you can't do that. What about the money?" I insisted, panicking as I thought about him having to leave college to work to pay his dads bills. I balled my hands into fists as he shrugged helplessly, shaking his head.

"Your safety is more important than money. I've got this year's tuition covered, I'll just take a gap year or something. People do it all the time." He nodded to himself, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as me.

"Jace, listen to me." I grabbed his hands, smoothing my fingers over the calluses from playing the guitar. "I'm not going to let you do this. We'll figure out a plan for Jonathan, but together and not at the expense of your education and well being. Please-" My voice broke, and Jace's hands went to my face, ready to wipe away the tears that were threatening to slide down my cheeks. I steeled myself to say the words that every cell in my body was fighting me not to say. "Don't quit the band."

"Clary." He whispered, kissing my forehead. I could feel the tension in his shoulders has I reached up to wrap my arms around him. I sighed in relief as I felt him relax as I ran my hands down his chest. "Fine, I'll stay. But we're going to figure this thing out with Jonathan." His hands twitched as my waist, and I knew he was envisioning Jonathan's face at the receiving end of a punch. Meaning to distract him, I kissed his neck, feeling his pulse quicken under my lips.

He lifted my chin, pressing his lips to mine and pressing my body to his. With a wild gasp my body responded, my hands twirling in his hair as the kiss deepened, our tongues exploring. He backed up, and the back of his knees his the bed. He laid down, taking me with him as I straddled his waist, moving my hips against his as his hands went to my butt, encouraging me. I was fumbling for his shirt when a knock on the door startled me, nearly causing me to fall off the bed. Jace steadied me as we listened to Izzy's voice.

"Hey lovebirds, let's go. You're missing Magnus getting Alec to do karaoke." Izzy giggled on the other side, before I heard her footsteps retreating. Jace sighed, laughing softly as he tucked a stray curl behind my ear.

"I guess we'll have to continue this later." He smirked, and I rolled my eyes, squeezing his muscled bicep.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I don't think my mom is going to budge on the whole 'no sleepovers' thing. Even if we do promise to sleep head to toe."

"We can still accomplish some things in that position." He winked, shocking a laugh out of me as I smacked his arm.

"Jace! Don't you dare say things like that around my mom." I warned, smiling as he leaned in to kiss me again. I tried repressing the intense feeling of desire that was causing my head to spin, but it was difficult. I took a deep breath, I had a house full of friends to entertain and all I could think about was Jace. And his body.

When we finally made it out of the bedroom, I was pleasantly surprised to find my friends had welcomed Sebastian, and the awkwardness of his arrival earlier had faded. He looked nervous when he saw Jace, which was understandable. I had a brief flashback to Magnus' party at the beginning of winter break, and how Jace had told me they never got along. Jace nodded to Sebastian briefly before turning to tease Alec about his karaoke performance.

"I'm so stupid." I moaned to Izzy in the kitchen, as I watched Sebastian and Jace purposely avoid each other the whole night. "How could I forget that they hated each other from even before all this happened? I saw them at Magnus' party. Jace flipped out because he was flirting with me." I bit into a cookie my mom had made. I glared at the sprinkles, tossing it in the trash.

"Clary, it's okay. You can be friends with whoever you want. Whatever Jace and him have going on is something they'll have to figure out." Izzy insisted, handing me a cupcake sans sprinkles. "You can't help it, you like to fix things. Especially people." She grinned, and I smiled wistfully, thinking of Jonathan.

"Not everyone." I said, taking a bite of the cupcake.

Izzy gave me a sad look, before shaking her head. "Enough, this is a party. School is starting next week, I refuse to let something like this bring you down." I nodded, but must have not looked convinced. "Clary, Jace was your best friend before all this happened. Yeah, you're dating now, but you still have that strong foundation. You being friendly with Sebastian isn't going to change that."


End file.
